Opus 405a (July 23, 2020). Bunny Bonus!! Just to keep abreast of breaking news, we’re examining the sexual harassment issue with Warren Ellis, who has lately been accused of “grooming” and then abusing too many women. Without further ado, here we go—:

LECHERY AND THE PENILE PROMPT

“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” —Robin Williams

Image Takes Down Oral History of the Warren Ellis Forum

“The month of June saw the comics industry rocked by successive waves of predatory conduct allegations, amid similar reckonings around sexual harassment in the affiliated worlds of video games, twitch streaming, tabletop games, professional wrestling, and professional illustration.”

            Then on July 13, Rich Johnston reported at bleedingcool.com. that Image Comics removed the article An Oral History Of The Warren Ellis Forum from their website. Apparently, Ellis has been using the Forum as the place where he first met a number of women who he subsequently groomed for his sexual pleasure. Eliminate the Forum, no more grooming, which has been determined as evil.

            The Ellis story surfaced just about a month after Comic Book Legal Defense Fund Executive Director Charles Brownstein stepped down from his position amid a growing number of online protests and accusations that began with reports of his drunken act of sexual aggression against novice comics creator Taki Soma.

            Now Warren Ellis is getting his.

            His what?

            His just deserts.

            But that’s the question: is it just?

            Before we get to that, let’s review a number of the aspects of this problem, starting with reprinting some of Opus 376.

THINKING WITH YOUR PECKER

And What That Means for Your Future

IN HIS TREATISE God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis, Tom Hickman reports that cults of phallus worship have mostly disappeared in the West, but not in India. “In the more mystical tantric reaches of Hinduism and Buddhism, devotees are still said to regard themselves as merely ‘phallus bearers,’ each the servant of his sex organ, which he regards as a separate living entity, a divinity even, in its own right.”

            The cults may have disappeared in the West, but the worship remains, saith Hickman:

            “The penis-possessor’s erection is his lion’s mane and his peacock’s tail, the source of his identity, the psychological and physical center of his being, the very badge of his masculinity. To the penis-possessor, his erection is a thing as wondrous as the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly, even a recurrent miracle. His erection is ‘a marvel of hydraulic engineering.’ ... What they want from women on their erect penis’s behalf, and which almost certainly they cannot articulate, is awe. ... At its greatest intensity, a man may feel he is all erection and, perhaps, like James Boswell, feel a ‘godlike vigor’ in its possession.”

            Hickman continues: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a penis will do some of his thinking with it. ... The possessor is possessed—a comic fellow dragged along by the mischievous lecher between his legs.”

           Thus, the core of the problem: the offenders are not thinking beings. They’re ambulatory erections, rampant peckers prowling the world.

            Under these circumstances, the #MeToo threat of losing a job, a career, a reputation isn’t going to have much effect on behavior. The threat addresses the mind, not the pecker. Besides, the threat looks too much like lynching. In a country committed to rule by law, the laws are too readily disregarded by social media bent on revenge.

            Aren’t we innocent until proven guilty?

            What constitutes “proof”?

            To achieve something akin to the traditions of American justice, we should make a few modifications in our present procedures.

            Here are some suggestions for dealing with sexual harassment as defined strictly as taking place in a workplace context. Supervisors cannot expect sexual favors in exchange for job security or advancement, and they cannot tolerate anything that creates a hostile work environment. Beyond the workplace, men may be salivating, walking erections or refined gentlemen in their treatment of women. We can hope for better than clumsy rudeness but we can’t demand it. In the workplace, we must demand it. But we need to remodel the mechanisms of our demand.

            First, we ought to revise the method of indictment somewhat. One woman’s complaint  should not be sufficient to ruin a man’s life—except for such overt criminal behavior as rape or other kinds of sexual violence. In other instances of sexual harassment, there should be enough accusers to confirm a pattern of bad behavior. 

            How many then? Six? Eight? Twenty? What arbitrary number of accusers does it take? I say, twelve—twelve because it echoes American judicial tradition with its juries of twelve good citizens and true. That’s how many it takes to find a person guilty.

            And to restore another value of our tradition, the accusers should not count if they want to be anonymous. Our judicial custom guarantees that we can confront our accusers, and we can’t confront them if we don’t know who they are.

            On the other side of the ledger, we must remove all hindrances to a woman’s speaking out. They should be able to speak out without fear of reprisal. We should eliminate the most obvious instruments of suppression—confidentiality and nondisclosure agreements. They should simply be outlawed.

            Any complainant whose allegation is supported by a signed and dated confidentiality/nondisclosure document can sue the employer for requiring that kind of documentation, and the employer must pay all costs whether the suit is successful or not.

            After these modifications are made, the current punishment is still not adequate. It punishes but does not deter. And it does not acknowledge degrees of difference—in the offense as well as the punishment.

FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, let us say that the behavior we seek to control or eliminate manifests two aspects of the human condition: society and biology. The group and the individual. Individuals thrive only in social groups, but individuals are also single entities, and they act singly as well as in groups.

            On the one hand, society inhibits the individual behavior: one fears beings rejected because of bad behavior. On the other hand, society enables the behavior. Society, arranged by hierarchies of power, creates the means by which fear of rejection fails to inhibit: one who enjoys power enough believes that power will permit him to do whatever he wants—that society, in his case, will overlook the abuses. He can escape because he is powerful. And because he is powerful, he can follow his biology, wherever lustful urges take him.

            Biology creates the urge, and it would seem that we’re not likely to be able to do much about that. Biology, the objective of which is propagation of the species, doesn’t seem amenable to any sort of modification. Or so it would seem. In other words, we cannot stop biological urges.

            Or can we?

            Perhaps we can, at least, inhibit them.

            The biological urge is what gets us going. Once the formidable pecker begins to swell with self-importance, there’s no stopping it. Blood drains from the brain into the dick, and inhibition fades. The all-powerful pecker guides the man behind it. He sees the object of his desire, the urge propels him toward it.

            Disclosure by women of the bad behavior in men around them can result in a societal consequence: the guy loses his job. But even in cases where society has chastened the miscreant by causing him to lose his job, biology is still in charge. He’ll have those urges again. How we can overcome biological urges in order to achieve a societal goal is another matter altogether.

            The urge at issue is, let us remember, a good thing. Its purpose is biological. We dare not eliminate it. But society demands that we somehow control it. Mostly, control is achieved by inhibition: we fear retribution, so we behave.

            Those who don’t—those men whose relationship with the opposing sex is determined almost entirely by their erections in the service of which they discard civilized behavior—they need to be inhibited by more than mere societal rejection.

            The most effective way to remove the biological urge that is the root (so to speak) of the problem is to remove the cause of the urge. Simple: chop off the cock.

            Dismembering is undoubtedly a severe solution. But the threat of it may well induce a kind of penile paralysis that will result in the restoration of civilized behavior.

            In practice, to temper the severity, culprits can be given a choice: we fire you, or we cut off your prick. Take your choice.

            Here is a punishment horrible enough that even the threat of it hanging over the head of a potential miscreants might actually deter the bad behavior we’re seeking to eliminate or, at least, change.

            Ahh, but what about degrees? Just as there are first, second, third and fourth degrees of murder, so should there be degrees of sexual harassment. Ditto punishment. And the punishment should fit the crime.

           But formulating those subtleties is a task for another day—a necessary even urgent task. For now, alas, I’m exhausted.

            But before we get back to the Warren Ellis situation, let’s take another short detour—:

Sexual Harassment and Grooming

At thedailybeast.com on July 12, Asher Elbein related a tale of sexual harassment that I quote below. Throughout, I’ve underscored terms that need exploration, and then, I examine them, suggesting, in most instances, alternative interpretation. Here’s Elbein—:

            In 2009, 16-year-old comics fan Aviva Maï met a thirtysomething artist, who flirted with her by text and took her out on a date. For a long time after that—a period when Maï thought they were friends—she received occasional texts from him expressing regret that he’d missed his chance of dating her. The texts made her uncomfortable. Slowly, she began to question the series of events. Slowly, she realized that they hadn’t been friends at all.

            On June 15, 2020, amid nationwide protests around police violence and racism, Maï, now an artist and model, tweeted an oblique reference to that creator. Later that evening, she named him: “Hey. That post about being groomed as a teenager? I’m talking about Cameron Stewart. The comic book artist.”

RCH: “The texts made her uncomfortable.” Why? There’s not enough information here to explain her discomfort. “Grooming,” a methodical process of building trust in someone until they can be victimized sexually, is not all that different from an ordinary romantic overture.

            Our culture has always expected men to make the initiating move in a romantic relationship. Some men are clumsier at these maneuvers than others. They haven’t learned graceful and respectful ways of making the approach. And that’s bad. But it is possible that it is this badness that has resulted in the outpouring of feminine ire over the way some men have treated them.

            It’s “possible.” By that I don’t mean that it’s definitely all that’s going on.

            Stewart, an artist and writer best known for his work on a critically acclaimed relaunch of Batgirl, had been a fixture in the industry for years; in some quarters, his tendency to date younger women was an open secret. After Maï laid the story out, several women in the comics industry—among them writer/artist Kate Leth—directly corroborated it. Within two days, Maï wrote on Twitter, 14 other women reached out to share similar accounts. The pattern described was clear: Stewart, they alleged, had used his status as a professional artist to win their trust, and had used that trust as a cover for sexual overtures.

RCH: What’s “the story”? “Story” is sometimes used as a synonym for “lie.” But maybe not here. Here, isn’t Mai describing a romantic prelude to dating? The use of the term “corroborating” is suggestive of some sort of criminal conspiracy. But not here. In corroborating the story, isn’t it possible that Kate Leth is merely describing Stewart’s romantic overtures? If he’s single, what’s wrong with that? He “used his status” to win their trust? How did he do that? Isn’t one’s professional status sort of built-in? Once you have it, it’s always there, lurking in whatever the professional says and does—even, we suppose, in romantic approaches.

            In response to the ensuing uproar, Cameron Stewart locked his social media accounts and DC Comics quietly removed him from an unannounced project. But in the weeks that followed, the conversation sparked by Maï’s tweet spread far beyond Stewart.

            The month of June saw the comics industry rocked by successive waves of predatory conduct allegations, amid similar reckonings around sexual harassment in the affiliated worlds of video games, twitch streaming, tabletop games, professional wrestling, and professional illustration.

            Some of the allegations, as with superstar writer Warren Ellis, were new. Others brought renewed scrutiny to lingering problems like the allegations against Dark Horse editor Scott Allie and DC writer Scott Lobdell. Most of the stories came from marginalized creators who’d previously been silent for fear of being blacklisted. In June, that wall of silence cracked, and what showed beneath was red and raw and deeply, viscerally angry.

RCH: “Red and raw and deeply, viscerally angry.” Well, angry, yes. But “red and raw” is clearly inflammatory language, not objective reportage. And, again, “predatory conduct” is a way of characterizing romantic behaviors that the recipient—the “victim”—finds unwelcome. And in our culture in which the male must initiate the encounter, the possibility of an approach being unwelcome is highly possible. But that doesn’t make it bad.

            “A huge reason why abusive, predatory, and discriminatory practices go unchecked in the comics industry is this: the impetus is always put on the victims to come forward,” Maï wrote in an email to The Daily Beast.

RCH: Of course it’s up to the victims to come forward. Who else?

            “Victims are expected to speak out at great personal cost—at risk of losing jobs and damaging their financial livelihood, at detriment to their mental health and threats to their personal safety… For every story you hear, there is also an unimaginable amount more that are not heard.”

RCH: Now that—the risk of losing jobs and damaging financial livelihood—is correct. And it is real. Is there a way to avoid it? Not, regrettably, that I can think of. But it’s a two-way street. Those being accused of sexual improprieties often lose their jobs and financial security.

            With the preceding as prelude, we get back to Warren Ellis. Let me say right here, at the beginning, that I don’t know Warren Ellis. We’ve never met. I wouldn’t know him if I bumped into him on the street.

            And we begin with the “collective” that has formed in the hope of correcting his behavior. Available in great detail at somanyofus.com, it begins like this—:

We are a collective of people who have been targeted and manipulated by Warren Ellis, author. Our statement (excerpts):

We are a group of over sixty women and non-binary individuals whose utmost concern is the safety and protection of others like us. Our aim is to dismantle the systems that allow people in power to abuse that power for the purpose of serial predatory corralling, emotional manipulation, and grooming. With this goal in mind, we are sharing our stories about a man who abused his power. This statement was written with the involvement of all who have signed it.

            Warren Ellis, a New York Times best-selling author, comics writer, public speaker, screenwriter, and producer, has devised and continues to follow a pattern of emotionally abusive behavior documented across more than two decades.

            From our accounts, and the others who have come forward, there is clear evidence of Warren Ellis using his celebrity status and vast public platform as catalyst and shield to manipulate and groom targets under false pretenses, and to coerce private pornography and sexual exchanges. Over twenty years, femme-presenting people, often between the ages of 19 to 26, were impacted by this pathological behavior. We were all under an elaborate illusion, believing we had a friend, a mentor, a partner in this man.

            To date, nearly 100 people have privately come forward with experiences regarding Warren Ellis. Given how deeply personal many of these experiences have been, only a fraction of those who have contacted us have chosen to share their testimonials on this site. We've assembled these stories in a form that keeps his targets safe from further abuse, yet clearly shows both how widely our experiences vary and also where the patterns lie. ...

            To be clear, our aim is not to see Warren Ellis punished, we are here to look forward. We believe it is important to amplify awareness of a pattern to change the culture of complicity. Emotional abuse, despite not being criminalized in many places, should be recognized as a real and lasting violation. We tell these stories so that anyone can recognize the dangerous nature of this type of behavior and protect themselves and others. (My italicization.—RCH)

ME AGAIN. They may not aim to punish Ellis, but he is likely to be punished by others—employers, potential employers, and the like. What usually happens in situations like this is that the offender loses his job or his livelihood. DC Comics has removed a two-page story written by Ellis in Dark Nights: Death Metal - Legends of the Dark Knights one-shot. The question still remains of what will happen with The Batman's Grave, the twelve-issue series Ellis has been writing with artists Bryan Hitch, Kevin Nowlan, and Alex Sinclair.

ELLIS ISSUED A STATEMENT, which we published most of in Opus 405. We repost the excerpt herewith—:

            "Recent statements have been made about me that need to be addressed. I have never considered myself famous or powerful, to the point where I've made a lot of bad jokes about it for twenty-odd years. It had never really occurred to me that other people didn't see it the same way—that I was not engaging as an equal when gifted with attention, but acting from a position of power and privilege. I did not take that into account in a number of my personal interactions and this was a mistake and I own it. I hurt people deeply. I am ashamed for these mistakes and I am profoundly sorry."

            His statement continues: “I will not speak against other people's personal truths, and I will not expose them to the toxicity of the current discourse. I should have been more aware, more present, and more respectful of people's feelings and for that I apologise. I have had friendships and relationships end, sometimes in bitterness, often due to my own failings, and I continue to regret and apologise for the pain I have caused. I have always tried to aid and support women in their lives and careers, but I have hurt many people that I had no intention of hurting. I am culpable. I take responsibility for my mistakes. I will do better and for that, I apologise.

            “I apologize to my friends and collaborators for having created this situation, and I hope they will be treated kindly. Mistakes and poor choices in my personal life are not on them, but only on me. We have a responsibility to one another, every day. And I have, in my past, let too many people down. I hope to one day become worthy of the trust and kindness that was placed in me by colleagues and friends. I will continue to listen, learn, and strive to be a better human being. I have sought to make amends with people, as I have been made aware of my transgressions, and will continue to do so.”

HIS STATEMENT IS SOMEWHAT LONGER, but what I’ve quoted here suggests the tone and tenor of his apology. I initially applauded: good for him. And, remember, he was not accused of any sexual misconduct. Just “grooming.” And kindred “abusive behavior.” Almost all of it, wholly verbal.

            The collective recognized Ellis’ apology but found serious flaws in it—:

            “Even as we compiled our stories, Warren Ellis contacted a few of us with sterile, performatively apologetic missives, which acknowledged little of the realities of his conduct. These texts and emails did not express self-reflection, acknowledgment of the harm his actions cause, nor desire to change his behavior. He also posted this public statement [quoted above] on June 19, 2020. Following that statement's publication, he continued to send sexual messages and overtures to people as recently as July 2020.”

            At first, I discounted the collective’s assessment. But then, I ran into statements by women in the collective that, in describing Ellis’ behavior under somewhat similar circumstances, supported the notion that his “PR” statement was as phoney as his romantic overtures.   

            One woman said explicitly that “even after his PR apology post, he’s continued to send empty and salacious messages out to his current collection of ‘special’ girls.”

            Another wrote this:

            “While sitting talking with Warren at the hotel bar later that night, I confronted him about his reputation of being a dirty old man who uses and discards young women. He seemed genuinely shocked and saddened by this. He seemed truly sorry that this was how people saw him and he was sorry that women felt that way about him. I believed him and trusted that it was behavior he practiced in the past.”

            “He seemed truly sorry that this was how people saw him”—is almost exactly what he says in his statement.

            And another woman reports on Ellis’ seemingly low opinion of himself:

            “Given our very sexual relationship, I was very surprised by his constant (often public) declarations of how unattractive he is and how no one wants him. I expressed that surprise multiple times, pointing out all the incredible people flirting with him in numerous online spaces, and he dismissed them as just friends or as people who didn’t mean it. He insisted that it was rare and uncommon for someone to want him and for him to feel such a strong desire in return. He told me no one had made him feel the way I did for a very long time.”

            In making such statements about his unpopularity, Warren Ellis was actually inviting complimentary remarks from his auditor. And in the case quoted here, she clearly provided him with exactly what he was hoping for.

THE STATEMENT OF THE COLLECTIVE at somanyofus.com is much longer than I’ve quoted above, and I encourage you to go there and read it. For my present purpose, I quoted enough, but let me summarize some of the rest of the content, herewith—:

            The statement lists the complaints of several women by category (sex talk, discussion of photos, ditto of videos—“custom pornography”—  need for discretion, and how Ellis can advance the subject’s career), and announces the collective’s objectives: first, to provide helpful counseling for women who find themselves in the same sort of situation (so they’ll known they’re not alone); second, to induce Ellis to reform.

            Then the statement concludes with the “testimonials” of 38 women, all written in the first person. Unhappily, most of the Testimonials—26 of them—are by “anonymous.” And the remaining 12 do not identify their writer by much more than a nickname. Only one of those I read gave first and last name of the author.

            If the writers had given their names—if they’d had the courage of their convictions—the indictment of Ellis would be more effective. As it stands, it’s marginal. The number of complainants is greater than our optimal dozen. But too many are anonymous. As an anonymous assault on Ellis, the whole thing looks a little like a lynch mob.

            Their anonymity is not without cause. Generally speaking, the writers eventually come to realize that the future of their professional lives could be at stake: even if they want to leave the relationship with Ellis, they’re afraid he could destroy their futures in retaliation. Not exactly a workplace situation, but for “creatives” (which is how many of the women identify themselves) who are often freelancers dependent upon making connections, their situation is close enough to a workplace to be worrying for them.

            The Testimonials offer self-portraits of women who are mostly young—under 25, I’d say—and vulnerable. I read about half of the total—15 or so. Many say they met Ellis online when they were just recovering from some personal tragedy. What they found in Ellis was friendship and caring at a critical point in their lives—plus flattery that made them feel good about themselves.

            The talk eventually led to exchanging photographs. The women often sent photos of themselves naked. (Once Ellis comments: “If only I could actually make your nipples do that.”) And that led to more overt sex talk. But very few of the women actually met Ellis in person and engaged in sex with him.

            And most of the purely online relationships went on for years!

            Here are a few quotations that describe the situation women found themselves in—:

            “Warren Ellis never had any control over any part of my professional life, my career, or my income. I realize now how extremely fortunate I was in this. ... [In other words, no workplace situation; and none of the other women whose testimonials I read mention a workplace.—RCH]

             “Wisdom and age look back [and see] red flags, and, yes, I agree; it is simple now to say ‘I should have known then.’ I learned my lesson. And now I speak up so other young women have more tools at their disposal to recognize red flags in their own lives. I also speak up now to identify the systems and patterns that propped up this misbehavior.”

            Another: “I’ve had the chance to listen to over 60 people directly tell me about their experiences with him. They shared emails, photos, and screenshots. It made me realize that nothing about my experience with Warren was unique. I have to do a lot of work to reconcile the reality I thought I understood for the past fifteen years, with the actual truth of the situation. The only thing I know to be true is that Warren had great taste. The people I have met in the last couple weeks are all incredibly intelligent, empathetic, thoughtful, caring, and kind. They’ve all contributed to a place I have felt safe to unpack my complicated feelings about this type of behavior. I am forever grateful to be seen and held by this group of powerful people and to have done such great work with them.”

            And yet another:

            “I am not sure some men fully understand the way that women are subject to a raw deal: participation in society, being treated like a real person, is so often contingent on performative [i.e., verbal] sexuality.”

            One woman reported that after a deteriorating relationship that eventually fell apart in the midst of other personal misfortunes, she attempted suicide. After being treated and leaving the hospital, she felt abandoned by all her friends except the very “best” friends—one of whom was Ellis, whose reaction to her news was very supportive, she reports.

            By this time, their relationship was years old. Ellis was soon again very flirtatious and their exchanges became overtly sexual. She sent him nude photos. They met at the San Diego Comic-Con.

            “In a confessional tone,” the woman writes, “he told me ‘I was in love with you for a very long time.’ If I wanted, he said, I could come up to his hotel room. I told him, truthfully, that were I not faithfully committed to my monogamous partnership at the time, I’d have considered it. My most visceral memory from that evening is that he hugged me very tightly, and long after I’d stopped hugging back and actively tried to pull away, he continued to hold me against him.”

            In suggesting that she come to his hotel room, Ellis seems adult and considerate. Not at all pushy or predatory.

            And there are other instances of Ellis’ thoughtful and caring behavior. As well as his inexplicable occasional departure from—and then return to—a relationship.

            To me, most of the relationships seem relatively harmless. It’s all online stuff. It’s just talk. Sweet nothings whispered into their computer ears. To the women, though, the relationships built trust and friendship—  and then abused both.

            I wondered why they didn’t just stop, just end the relationship, when they realized what was happening. All of them did, eventually. But most did not end their relationship with Ellis immediately upon discerning what he was up to. Most stayed on for some time.

            Why?

            Because they were vulnerable and needed him. I suppose.

THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS of what will happen with The Batman's Grave, the twelve-issue series Ellis has been writing. A new issue of that series was due out on Tuesday, July 7th. Order cut-off for that issue was June 15, so it may be too late to cancel at this point if that's what DC intends to do.

            Will Ellis lose his career?

            And so we go on and on, tearing down statues and reputations. Much of it done by allegation rather than evidentiary proof. Of course the women are right to complain of predatory or harassing behavior from men. Of course men ought to behave more politely.

            But when allegation alone can destroy a man, we ought to stop and think for a moment about what we are doing to our notion of justice. The women are not at fault here: it’s the rest of us and how we react.

*****

TESTIMONIALS FROM THE COLLECTIVE

Here are excerpts from 15 of the Testimonials made by 38 of Warren Ellis’ victims. I chose these because they seemed, as I was reading through them, “typical.” And, arranged in the order they appear here, they adequately describe how he worked—and his affect on his prey.

            Most of the testimonials—26 of the 38, or almost 70%—are submitted by “anonymous” witnesses. A few give a name, usually just a first name (or some similar “tag”). When no name is given, I’ve identified the writer with a pound sign— #. Every time # appears, that signals the start of a new excerpt. Where a number appears after #, it means nothing: the number was assigned in posting the Testimonial. Again, these are excerpts, not full quotations.

#

He began to occasionally send me webcam or phone self-portraits. Open shirt, hands near mouth. The tone of our exchanges became a little charged; he flirted, I was flattered, and so I flirted back. I noticed that he responded more if I attached photos of myself to my emails. This was how he trained me. ...

            As the serious relationship I’d been in was ending and I was a heartbroken wreck, communications with Warren took a turn from flirting to sexual. I still thought it was all lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek; after all, this was never really going to go anywhere, I thought. My dear friend and I, with whom I shared so much already, were just blowing off a little steam between laughs and heart-to-hearts.

            He flattered me a lot. He told me he loved me, how special I was to him, how he cherished me, how incredible of a human being I am, how hypnotic I am, how much power I had over him, and how he always thought about me. He said these things regularly, and when he did not, I wanted to hear them, in spite of myself, and wondered why. When I dated casually, he’d ask about those relationships and tell me I was too good for them. When my life became especially chaotic, like during business trips, he made sure to say things like, “Check in and let me know how you are,” “You know I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart”. ...

            The escalated amount of effort he made during times of crisis was consistent, and effective at making him seem like he was the only one really there for me. I was too busy to notice that it was also during these times that he consistently steered conversations into a more sexual direction.

#

I was insecure and fragile, for a variety of reasons, and I loved feeling like I was special. I was fine with things escalating, which it did very quickly. He insisted both that no one else desired him and that I was somehow uniquely irresistible. We never met in person, but I was more than happy to engage in electronically mediated sexual exchanges with him, involving text, voice and video. None of that part was a problem. (I now know he was doing this exact same thing with multiple other people at the same time, while presenting it as if these exchanges were only with me.) When I found out about his girlfriend, he claimed she had serious mental health issues and that he was in a companionate relationship where he took care of her.

            After a period of frequent contact, he started abruptly disappearing. He’d go silent for weeks, and then spend hours emailing back and forth with me when he’d return, usually acting as if nothing unusual had happened. Sometimes, though rarely, he offered a weak explanation about having email problems or only just getting some old message weeks later. ...

            He called me goddess. He called me a succubus. He told me I was pure sex. He sent me many photos, presenting them as if my praise had emboldened him and made him confident enough to make them just for me. Sometimes delivering them over the course of a conversation as real-time responses, though now I know that completely identical photos were sent to tens (if not more) of other people at the same time, offered in a similar fashion. He was pretending our connection was special. The photos probably weren’t in response to what I said, but possibly someone else entirely! They were sent en masse to all the people he was involved with, none of whom I knew about.

            He lied to me that there were no other people. It wasn’t even a lie of omission. Given our very sexual relationship, I was very surprised by his constant (often public) declarations of how unattractive he is and how no one wants him. I expressed that surprise multiple times, pointing out all the incredible people flirting with him in numerous online spaces, and he dismissed them as just friends or as people who didn’t mean it. He insisted that it was rare and uncommon for someone to want him and for him to feel such a strong desire in return. He told me no one had made him feel the way I did for a very long time.

#7

He continued to reach out. I was hesitant about ‘bothering’ him at first, but he quickly normalized the interactions, emailing with me regularly, asking how I was. We chatted via email constantly, and before long he had become my dear friend, my listener and mentor. Always there. Never pushy. Patient. Never one to judge. Talked me down when I was upset and gently reached out when I was down. He was, as he so often mentioned, right there. Always there for me. I was a loner and a recluse, my social interactions happening mainly online, and I became not only comfortable with the friendship, it became a cornerstone of my daily life.

            In the beginning, he pointed out our age difference several times and made allusions to how “if only he was 10 years younger…” and how I would never like a dirty old man like himself. He was a confidant and trusted friend for me, and I always came back with reassurances and compliments when he’d put himself down. He asked for my help with some of his work stuff, which I readily gave. I was so happy he asked me, and so flattered that he would trust me with it. However, right from the beginning, discretion was built into the way we talked. I never spoke about how close we were with others. ...

            Nevertheless, it took time to work up the strength to end things. If you’ve ever had to end what you think is one of the great loves of your life, you may understand. He had such an easy pull on me, and I didn’t have the strength. My moment where I finally detached was a conversation where he implied that he wished for the death of his wife. It cut through everything and I just backed away.  Didn’t matter how wildly madly in love I was and how distraught I felt without him. ...

            I want to add my layer to the pattern. So that anyone else, being sought for the same script, can recognize it for what it is: Practiced and deliberate manipulation. A highly effective script that has been played out with countless women for decades, under a veil of secrecy. If you recognize yourself in my story, we have support for you.

#

We talked and I told him about my life, my recent situation and that it felt good in having found a community of like-minded people I could be involved in. I was young, single and lonely. He thought I was smart and beautiful, witty and worthy of attention - on one occasion he told me that most men must be intimidated by me because I was so beautiful and razor-smart, a devastating combination. He claimed that he was in a loveless relationship, but stayed because of his obligation to care for his young daughter. I foolishly believed what he told me.

            He flirted, I flirted back. We chatted about life and other topics, sparred verbally with one another. Pictures were exchanged, nothing explicit. Compliments would focus on my lips, my eyes and my cleavage; requests were made for corsets, stockings... I obliged. These were things I already had being goth/alternative and testing out modeling in that space, it was easy and seemed harmless at the time. Conversations became more explicit over email and text messages, declarations of desire and lust, with him eventually insisting that all communication of that nature be done over the phone.

Meredith

Eventually, Warren managed, at long last, to apologize with passable sincerity for his mistreatment of me. Then, in a confessional tone, he told me “I was in love with you for a very long time.” If I wanted, he said, I could come up to his hotel room. I told him, truthfully, that were I not faithfully committed to my monogamous partnership at the time, I’d have considered it. My most visceral memory from that evening is that he hugged me very tightly, and long after I’d stopped hugging back and actively tried to pull away, he continued to hold me against him.

[Meredith identified herself at the end of her very long testimony: Meredith Yayanos.]

#WillowBl00

I don't feel abused, although I see that abuse happened to others. I think the flirty relationship I had with him wasn't abusive because he had no power over me, as our fields didn't overlap, and abuse requires an imbalance of power. [In other words, theirs was not a workplace situation.—RCH] He would occasionally promote events I was throwing via his newsletter, but most of the ways we work are mutually exclusive. I think because of these things our acquaintanceship was fairly on the up and up, but I can certainly see the entry points to the behavior most here experienced. He used me for legitimacy and I used him for credibility.

            We have met in person, and he referred to it in his newsletter, which both felt strange and like a tiny honor. I see now that it's a pattern of establishing the false appearance of safety to others, whether intentionally or not, and am upset the safety and integrity I work hard to cultivate in my own life were used as a shield for him in harming others.

#18

At some point he contacted me directly and the tone of his emails quickly became adoring and flirtatious; many smoky, fantasy type emails; many unsolicited photos of him in bed, him shirtless, him serving sultry looks. I knew of his reputation of “dirty uncle Warren” long beforehand, so I wasn't surprised, but I was at a loss as to how to handle it, because it was also all interwoven with this really comforting warmth and kindness he would offer me; he felt like a genuine friend, a safe, reliable place.

            At one point he even surprise-ordered me a thing I had asked help with acquiring (the plea was addressed to my online friends/followers; I did not ask him directly). So I forgave any inappropriateness. After some time I even wondered if he was someone worth "seeing where things went” with, despite knowing it was an open secret that he collected young, beautiful, creative types. He was that good at making me feel cherished and safe and special - more special than any other girl he spoke to, surely, right? He certainly led me to believe so and I was quite vulnerable to his attention and care.

            He quickly learned that I wasn't interested in nor did I respond to more aggressive tactics. Consequently, I feel like he was gentle with me and tested my boundaries subtly over time. He fed my need for safety, for kindness and warmth. I needed that warmth and safety so much. It must have been obvious, because in retrospect, it’s obvious he played on that. I feel dumb and naïve about it now, knowing he deliberately preyed on my vulnerability. I'm angry and hurt, still, that he took advantage of that. I trusted him. I allowed myself to trust him and feel cared for by him, despite the red flags. And that's what's always upset me the most. He acted like my friend. He made me feel safe and treasured and wanted, behaved inappropriately, and then dropped me without a word, repeatedly. It was emotionally exhausting.

#21 Tammy

Less than 60 seconds later, he was in my DM's, and began asking me what I'd want to do to him. Telling me how much he loved my mouth, and how I made it hard for him to think.  That I was such a succubus, and that he's always seen me as a dominatrix. ...  She told me about a carbon copy experience to mine, down to the obsession with full lips, gloves, corsets, etc. [This refers to Tammy’s conversation with another of Ellis’ women, whom Tammy had met either online or somewhere in person.—RCH]

#9

No woman who interacted with him will be surprised to learn that he made specific, dirty photo requests, and thinking I had him under my spell, I obliged. Often. He called me his muse. He told me I was his "secret pleasure" and the "only thing that stopped his brain from going a hundred miles an hour". He said he was “at my mercy”. He played the role of a lonely writer trapped in an empty, loveless relationship who was entranced by my beauty and intelligence. I felt sorry for him, and I gave him a lot of attention to fill that void in his life. I thought he was taking care of me, so I took care of him.

            There were times when we wouldn't talk much, and there were times we would talk every day, all day. He used to send me audio clips of his voice and tell me to listen to them at specific times before bed. That felt a bit odd to me, so I didn't do it, but I told him I did. He always said “good girl” in response. He wanted to control me so badly.

            He asked for webcam photos, encouraging me to experiment with becoming a cam girl. He asked for photos of me in gloves, collars. He'd encourage me to tell him about my early sexual experiences, and then tell me he'd like to meet me in a hotel room to "make me cum more times than I thought possible". I was 19 or 20 at this point. I’d never experienced this kind of desire directed at me before, and it was intoxicating. ...

            We met several times in person, but we never went to a hotel, just to be clear. I wasn't attracted to him physically and I danced around his invites when they came. Still he introduced me to important people, talked me up, opened up opportunities for me. Despite all the filth that had been shared between us over the years, he was surprisingly respectful in person. Meek, even. Being as young as I was, I thought he struggled with desire for me, and was unsure how to be bold in person. I was so naive, and knew so little about life and love and sex. After speaking with others who were much more intimately involved with him, I've come to learn that the “desperate yet hesitant” behavior was a manipulation technique he used a lot. ...

            Then one day, he responded to an old email of mine with a few canned sentences of greeting. I jumped at the chance to find out why he was so angry with me. At which point he simply informed me that he "couldn't stand how I'd become a shell of the girl I used to be". He told me he wouldn't "stand by and watch me slowly die" while I "wasted opportunities and threw away my life". Then he stopped speaking to me. ...

            After speaking with many others, I have discovered that he used almost the same exact words to "break up" with them as well. It was all a predatory behavior cycle that he seems to go through with young women over and over again. But even knowing that, it's been painful to learn that what I thought was a caring friendship with a trusted adult was in fact just a slow, calculated hunt for prey.

#10

Early on in my experience of the WEF, after having a few playful interactions with WE on the WEF,  Warren invited me to chat on the webcam. Almost immediately he reached into some weird hose he was wearing for underwear and whipped out his penis. “Show us yer tits!” My reaction to that was: let’s awkwardly back away from this experience and maybe I can get away with pretending this never happened. But it did happen, and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t matter.

#11 Jhayne

What was evident in my journal was that I was struggling. Wounded, young, and inexperienced, I was unable to get my feet under me, unable to find stability. I had just started dating a sweet and gentle man, J, who I didn’t talk about much. J turned me onto comic books, loaned me Transmetropolitan. He showed me how to sign up for Warren’s newsletter, something to cheer me up on darker days, he said. I was still flirting with homelessness, couch surfing without a clear way out, but things were looking up.

            I’m not sure how Warren found me, exactly, but he first approached me by flattering something I’d said online. I was astonished to have caught his eye. It set me aflutter. ...

            When my boyfriend hanged himself, only three months into our slowly budding relationship, the tone of the conversations with Warren shifted. I was drowning in grief, though trying not to let it flood too deeply into my small online presence. It was then Warren began devoting serious time to me. It’s also when he talked about some of my early modeling shots. Awful, awkward pictures someone had convinced me to pose for as a way to make grocery money. I wore a thrifted red corset that someone told me went well with my purple hair, some long gloves the photographer gave me to wear, and stockings I bought on sale at a drugstore.

            I thought the photos weren’t very good, but Warren liked them so much he asked if there were more. From my perspective now, as an actual adult, the exact age he was when he reached out to me, the ungraceful girl in those photos is achingly young. The gulf of experience between me-then and me-now feels almost insurmountable. ...

            He asked for my phone number again. Then for photos that were more sexy than before. He could not sleep, he said, for thinking of my lips. He strongly implied he wanted to know what the rest of me looked like. I was not, nor am I now, someone who’s Naked On The Internet. I’m barely naked in person. But I still complied with a bit more skin, fingers in my mouth, as he’d taught me he liked. It was the sauciest I’d ever been. ...

            He used the same lines on me that he used on everyone else. I was a “succubus”. He was “lost looking at my mouth” or “the ghost of my lips”. He couldn’t “tear himself away from my eyes”. I was “the best kind of trouble”, “delicious”, “brilliantly sly”, “captivating”, and “devastating”. I was so unusual, so brilliant, it was “distracting”. I was his “undoing”. As well as becoming more sexual, his requests grew more and more specific. It’s been chilling, seeing how he’s put his 10,000 hours in, using the same lines and pictures pop up over and over. ...

            Even after his PR apology post, he’s continued to send empty and salacious messages out to his current collection of “special” girls.

Katie

I had red hair at the time and was pale and often gothy in my photos. ... We first met in person in 2005 at a con in Toronto. I was introduced in public as his Filthy Assistant. I stayed over in his hotel room where we had sexual relations. Later that night I actually ended up in the ER as I was having very serious stomach pains. Warren did not accompany me to the ER. Warren had two other women coming to his hotel after I would leave, I was not aware of this and didn’t learn this truth until reading these women’s stories for this website, despite being in communication with both of these women at certain points over the years. I was also not aware that Warren was insulting me in conversation with these other women, as he would insult them to me, I can only presume it’s so we wouldn’t speak with each other. ...

            I was married and divorced during my friendship with Warren, we continued to sext and exchange photos during this time. I saw him at other cons and went out of my way to have physical, sexual encounters with him. ...

            In 2018, we barely spoke, but I saw him in person at a comic convention. I went to his hotel room, because I felt I needed some sort of closure regarding how I still felt about him. I had never succeeded at getting him out of my head; the need to please him was still strong. He hugged me for a long time, telling me he would always be there for me. And then he kissed me, and I let him. I felt incredibly ashamed that I let him do this. I didn’t tell my boyfriend (a man Warren has been friends with for years) and I instantly pretended as though it hadn’t happened.

            While sitting talking with Warren at the hotel bar later that night, I confronted him about his reputation of being a dirty old man who uses and discards young women. He seemed genuinely shocked and saddened by this. He seemed truly sorry that this was how people saw him and he was sorry that women felt that way about him. I believed him and trusted that it was behavior he practiced in the past. ...

            I’ve had the chance to listen to over 60 people directly tell me about their experiences with him. They shared emails, photos, and screenshots. It made me realise that nothing about my experience with Warren was unique. I have to do a lot of work to reconcile the reality I thought I understood for the past fifteen years, with the actual truth of the situation. The only thing I know to be true is that Warren had great taste. The people I have met in the last couple weeks are all incredibly intelligent, empathetic, thoughtful, caring, and kind. They’ve all contributed to a place I have felt safe to unpack my complicated feelings about this type of behaviour. I am forever grateful to be seen and held by this group of powerful people and to have done such great work with them.

#

While I rejected his many attempts at a physically intimate relationship he still spent years grooming me. Things culminated in a hotel room with him being very inappropriate and me declining.

            I believe this is why he based a character on me. Maybe it was some further attempt to manipulate me. Maybe it was a way to “win me over”.

            While he didn’t physically assault me or anything of that nature, the years of grooming are actually far more disturbing on some level.

            I’m so sad and horrified to see what he’s done and to how many.

#

If I was not involved with him, the requests for new photos would come about once a month, testing the waters. If I was vulnerable, from breakups or family health emergencies, he would pounce. I’d get roped back in. It was a cycle that lasted 10 years before I felt he had betrayed my trust unforgivably. My partner died of cancer, and he slithered in fawning all over me. As soon as he got what he wanted, he ghosted. I felt used and betrayed, and promised myself to never speak with him again. I ceased all communication, without announcement, and he never sought me out again.

#

Sex was ultimately what he wanted, as virtually all conversations veered there eventually. [But it was mostly sex talk, not actual sexual intercourse.—RCH] Once, I mentioned a medical appointment for some worrisome ovarian cysts. As an ovarian cancer survivor, check-ups were always terrifying ordeals. His next response was a sexually explicit order. The tone change felt like whiplash, but a positive response felt like a duty. I recall being frequently exhausted by the obligation to respond positively. ...

            Our emails show that Warren provided emotional support during my tempestuous engagement and its subsequent end, and I do appreciate that he gave me comfort during a tumultuous time. However, in retrospect I find it uncomfortable rather than admirable: a married man with an internationally lauded career who playacts fascination with a 20-something woman’s tumultuous love life is probably not doing so out of the goodness of his heart. ...

            Warren Ellis never had any control over any part of my professional life, my career, or my income. I realize now how extremely fortunate I was in this. ... [In other words, no workplace situation.]

             It doesn’t have to be rape to be wrong

Wisdom and age look back on these as red flags and yes, I agree; it is simple now to say “I should have known then.” I learned my lesson. And now I speak up so other young women have more tools at their disposal to recognize red flags in their own lives. I also speak up now to identify the systems and patterns that propped up this misbehavior.

            I am not sure some men fully understand the way that women are subject to a raw deal: participation in society, being treated like a real person, is so often contingent on performative [verbal] sexuality.

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