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         Opus 148: Opus 
          148 ( NOUS R  Interviewed at the Vegas Valley Book Festival October 
          21,              Comedy Central's new adult animated cartoon 
          series, "Shorties Watchin' Shorties," may be the first to 
          make product placement an integral part of the entertainment. Cartoon 
          characters have long been used to tout products, but the products haven't 
          been embedded in televised storylines before. The maneuver, according 
          to Stuart Elliott in Advertising, 
          "is becoming increasingly popular as marketers seek alternative 
          ways to reach consumers who can easily avoid traditional commercials 
          by zapping them with remote controls or digital video recorders." 
          So it's all our fault, eh? Some folks object to this innovation, anticipating, 
          angrily, the day when all programming is nothing but commercial advertising. 
          I'm a little wary of it myself; but some advertising, notably on the 
          Super Bowl every year, is better than the sort of "entertainment" 
          programming we're expected to watch. One of the products to be placed 
          in "Shorties" is a pizza from Domino's, whose marketing officer, 
          Ken Calwell, says the placement must be done "tongue in cheek: 
          you're being so obvious about it, you're having some fun with it. If 
          it's done creatively, with a wink and a smile, it works better." 
          Sure. Still, there's something inherently dishonest, even sleazy, about 
          sticking products for sale up as part of the entertainment being offered. 
          One of Comedy Central's stars said he was "not a big fan" 
          of branding entertainment in this manner. Said Jon 
          Stewart, host of "The Daily Show": "I think commercials 
          are commercials and should be labeled as such." And Stewart is 
          much attended to these days. As a guest recently on CNN's "Crossfire," 
          he astonished everyone by abandoning his goofy humor to express withering 
          contempt for the hosts, Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson, saying they 
          were partisan hacks whose "pro-wrestling" approach to political 
          discourse was "hurting America." Returning to the subject 
          later on his own show, Stewart twitted the duo again, saying: "They 
          said I wasn't being funny. And I said to them-I know that, but tomorrow, 
          I'll go back to being funny, and your show will still blow." Persiflage and 
          Bagatelles. In Sweden last month, a couple wanted to christen their newborn son Superman because when he was born one 
          of his arms was pointing upwards, approximating the position Superman 
          flies in. Understandably, local tax authorities, who, apparently, have 
          the final say in such matters way up north, nixed the notion, saying 
          the name could lead to the boy's being ridiculed all his life. An appellate 
          court upheld the decision. ... At the Festival of Comic Art at OSU last 
          weekend, Jeff Smith told me he has the Captain Marvel story for DC all storyboarded 
          out. ... By way of celebrating the 50th anniversary of Hi and Lois, a new tome is a-borning, Hi and Lois: Sunday Best, the first full-color 
          reprinting of the feature: it includes a sampling of strips from the 
          early years but concentrates, as I understand it, on the last eight 
          years or so. The color is brilliant, my spies tell me, and the selection 
          of strips reminds us of how often and to what pleasant effect landscapes 
          decorate the Sunday edition of the strip; should be out next month. 
          ... NEA's annual Christmas strip, which the syndicate has offered every 
          year since 1937, deploys a different strip and cartoonist every year, 
          and this year, it's Spot the Frog, a strip about a frog and 
          his human landlord, rendered in a style of painful simplicity by Mark Heath. Starting November 29 and ending 
          on Christmas Day, this year's seasonal saga concerns Spot's effort to 
          discover if his landlord, Karl, who has grown a beard, is really Santa 
          Claus. ... Disney has abandoned all of its retail outlets except the 
          ones on the lot at              The 
          Breman Jewish Heritage Museum opens on October 24 an exhibit of original 
          comic book art celebrating "The Superhero: The Golden Age of Comic 
          Books, 1938-1950," curated by Jerry 
          Robinson. The exhibit runs through August 28 and offers "rare, 
          never-before-exhibited original comic book art, vintage comic books, 
          1940s Hollywood movie serials, video interviews with some of the first 
          comic book artists and writers, and superhero memorabilia" plus 
          interactive stations for kids. In the same issue of the Breman newsletter 
          announcing this show is an article noting a little-advertised anniversary-the 
          350th anniversary of the arrival on these shores of the first 
          Jewish immigrants, September 1654, when 23 penniless refugees from              The 
          secret origin of Harvey Pekar 
          will be covered in Pekar's next graphic novel, The 
          Quitter, which deals with the cantankerous Clevelander's childhood 
          and early adolescence; due out next fall from DC's Vertigo imprint. 
          The book will be illustrated by Dean 
          Haspiel, one of the earliest of Pekar's illustrators, who professed 
          surprise at how violent Pekar was in his youth: "Nobody really 
          knows this, but  CROSSCURRENTS. 
          Garry Trudeau included URLs in a recent Doonesbury 
          sequence (October 11-16), sending readers to Websites where conservatives 
          pointed at Dubya's clay feet. One of the sites was so deluged with visitors 
          it shut down briefly, but the scheme otherwise seemed to have worked 
          to introduce reasonable conservative thought to the masses. Meanwhile, 
          over at a more conservative-leaning strip, Scott 
          Stantis' Prickly City, 
          readers had a less happy Internet experience. Launched in July, the 
          strip, which features a winsome little girl, Carmen, who lives in the 
                       Elsewhere: 
          over at Bruce Tinsley's Mallard Fillmore, a strip with a fowl conservative 
          point-of-view, the title character, a duck, was taking a fiendish delight 
          in Dan Rather's recent misfortunes, mustering a caricature of the CBS 
          anchor to say, "I'd like to clear the air and say the memos are, 
          indeed, fakes ... made by evil Bush operatives to make me look bad." 
          Tinsley also takes a jab at Peter Jennings, who is made to say that 
          ABC had planned "a hard-hitting, critical look at the whole CBS-Dan 
          Rather mess, but then CBS might start doing stories about our mistakes. 
          So instead, we bring you the third installment in our series, 'Does 
          your pet watch too much television?'" Fillmore, 
          which was invented to provide newspapers with a conservative alternative 
          to Doonesbury, is more expert at name-calling 
          and mud-slinging than it is at character portrayal.  Even Tinsley admits that the Rather sequence 
          is "piling on," but he nonetheless enjoyed the opportunity 
          to mock a medium in which almost no one is willing to admit to liberal 
          bias.              Speaking, 
          again, of Trudeau, he made 
          a rare public appearance on September 21 at              The 
          Princeton Historical Society hosted (October 24) an illustrated talk 
          about American political cartooning 
          by Georgia Barnhill, who used cartoons from the presidential campaigns 
          of Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, William Henry Harris, Abraham Lincoln 
          and Ulysses S. Grant to demonstrate that contentious political campaigns 
          are nothing new in this country. During  Civilization's 
          Last Outpost Okay, some stand-up comedienne on tv's "The Last 
          Comic Standing" found the solution to the financial problems of 
          Social Security and Medicare: dipping into the Social Security trust 
          fund (where all the surplus income is presently kept), just give everyone 
          $1 million when they reach the age of 65. They can put the money in 
          the bank and live on the interest, which ought to be sufficient, also, 
          to cover most medical bills. And, yes, she assured us, there's enough 
          money in the trust fund to activate this scheme immediately. Sounds 
          good to me. Wish I had made note of the woman's name: she's a pragmatic 
          genius who oughta be elected President.  Book Marquee The Checker Publishing Group has produced the first 
          volume of its proposed multi-volume reprinting of Alex Raymond's classic Flash 
          Gordon, and it's a handsome piece of work: about 90 9x12-inch pages 
          in color, hardcover for $14.95. The relatively low price tag may be 
          a factor of the source material used: judging from various evidences 
          (such as slightly off-register color here and there), Checker used the 
          Kitchen Sink Press Flash Gordon volume, reproducing its pages 
          nearly exactly. Moreover, the Checker book isn't quite as compendious 
          as the KSP tome: both begin at the beginning (January 7, 1934), but 
          Checker stops with  THE FESTIVAL 
          OF COMIC ART IN  Jay Lynch, one-time underground cartoonist and all-time 
          humorist, was explaining the metaphysical significance of digital vs. 
          traditional watches. I had just complained that many of today's school 
          kids don't know how to tell time with a traditional watch: the hands 
          that sweep around the face of the watch leave them dizzy and baffled. 
          Lynch nodded in agreement, and then went on to observe that there was 
          much more of import in the phenomenon: "With a traditional watch," 
          he said, "you look at the hands on the watch's face and say, 'It's 
          a quarter of seven.' With a digital watch, you read the numerical display 
          and say, 'Six-forty-five.' Telling time with a traditional watch makes 
          you look forward-to              We 
          were having breakfast with Lucy Caswell, curator of the Cartoon Research 
          Library at Ohio State University, on the morning after the conclusion 
          of the October 15-16 triennial Festival of Cartoon Art, a two-day symposium 
          on cartooning that Caswell had successfully engineered for the eighth 
          time since the founding of the CRL. Lynch had been one of the fourteen 
          speakers at this year's Festival, and we were shortly joined by two 
          others-Art Spiegelman and Nicole Hollander.              Spiegelman, 
          now that I have thought about it, was just emerging from a tortured 
          couple of years dominated by the Past: he had spent much of that time 
          reacting in comix to the 9/11 horror in Lower Manhattan, and with the 
          publication of those pages in book form, In the Shadow of No Towers, 
          he might be on the threshold of rejoining the Present. In the fall 
          of 2002, he had declined to renew his contract as writer and artist 
          at The New Yorker, saying that in his unhinged 
          state of mind, he no longer found the magazine sufficiently iconoclastic: 
          in the aftermath of 9/11, Spiegelman felt "the sky was falling," 
          but The New Yorker, like the 
          rest of American media, was trying to take things in stride. "It's 
          insanely timid," he said. At the time, David Remnick, editor of 
          the venerable weekly, said Spiegelman's contributions would continue 
          to be welcome even if he weren't a contract talent. And just a month 
          before this fall's Festival, a two-page comic strip by Spiegelman appeared 
          in The New Yorker, depicting, with alarm and 
          horror, the cartoonist's experience of the Republican Party's convention 
          in his home town. Spiegelman is re-entering the world.              Almost 
          the first thing he said to me when we ran into each other at the Festival's 
          Gillray exhibit was that the cover on the magazine's current October 
          18 issue was by his wife, New 
          Yorker art editor Francoise Mouly. His pride in his wife's achievement 
          was palpable as he described it: against a rendering of the American 
          flag she imposed a gray silhouette of the hooded and wired Iraqi whose 
          image has come to stand for the disgrace of Abu Ghraib. She titled it 
          "A Shadow Over the Election." It was Francoise, Spiegelman 
          later explained, who convinced him to use black-on-black on The 
          New Yorker's first post-9/11 cover to depict the twin towers of 
          the World Trade Center that were no longer there. "I would have 
          been much shriller," he said. That stunning image is replicated 
          on the cover of No Towers.             Spiegelman's 
          No Towers is without competition 
          the year's most peculiar book. Its giant 10x14-inch page dimension is 
          matched by the gauge of the pages: almost a sixteenth of an inch thick, 
          the pages are boards rather than paper, and the volume feels more like 
          a plank than a book. Only 20 of the tome's 40 pages are Spiegelman's 
          comix: of the remaining 20, 14 are devoted to reprinting turn-of-the-19th-century 
          Sunday comic strips, and 4 more present two essays by Spiegelman. In 
          the second, introducing the vintage comics from the early 1900s, he 
          reviews the history of the newspaper comic supplement. In the first, 
          an introduction to the volume, Spiegelman discusses his experience of 
          the disaster of September 11, 2001, and traces the history of his evolution 
          of the ten Sunday-sized comic strip pages he produced by way of coming 
          to grips with the tragedy. These comix are intensely personal and reflect, 
          in subject and design, the confused but fierce desperation of a creative 
          intelligence seeking to express the fear, frustration, anger, disbelief, 
          paranoia, disillusionment and outrage aroused by the events of that 
          terrible day and the weeks and months that followed. Parental anxiety 
          mixes with political angst on these pages as the cartoonist recounts, 
          first, his actions on that day and then his reaction to his government's 
          responses.              Interviewed 
          by Claudia Dreifus at the New 
          York Times, Spiegelman said that the thing that surprised him most 
          about that ghastly day was "how vulnerable New York-and by extension, 
          all of Western Civilization-is. I took my city, and those homely, arrogant 
          towers, for granted. It's actually all as transient and ephemeral as, 
          say, old newspapers. Afterwards," he finished, "our government 
          reduced a tragic event with so many ramifications down to a mere war-recruitment 
          poster." These ideas, and many related others, find expression 
          in No Towers.             Spiegelman's 
          studio and apartment are in Manhattan's Soho district, just a handful 
          of blocks north of the World Trade Center. When the Towers were attacked, 
          he and his wife thought immediately of their daughter, Nadja, who was 
          attending a school even closer to the disaster site. They find her at 
          last (but not until after three panicky pages of comix), and as they 
          leave the area, they witness the collapse of the second Tower. Glancing 
          back at the sound of the collapse, Spiegelman sees the Tower as a glowing, 
          burning architectural skeleton of itself-an image, he assures us, "that 
          didn't get photographed or videotaped into public memory but still remains 
          burned onto the inside of my eyelids several years later." This 
          image, the incandescent bones of the building, recurs throughout Spiegelman's 
          comix, beginning on the very first page, accompanied by the caption: 
          "In our last episode, as you might remember, the world ended. ..."             But 
          Spiegelman's ten-page epic is not exclusively a straight-forward narrative 
          of his day that September 11 or of any of the days that followed. He 
          chose the Sunday comics format because each page of the Sunday funnies, 
          customarily, presents several comic strips, the work of several cartoonists, 
          each in his individual style-in short, a "collage" of comics. 
          And that suited his purpose perfectly, as he explains in his Introduction: 
          "I wanted to sort out the fragments of what I'd experienced from 
          the media images that threatened to engulf what I actually saw, and 
          the collagelike nature of a newspaper page encouraged my impulse to 
          juxtapose my fragmentary thoughts in different styles." Each of 
          the ten comix pages he produced offers two or three "strips," 
          each in a different style on a different topic-providing a varying perspectives 
          on the events being recounted-accompanied by other, complementary imagery: 
          political cartoons, trading cards, seeming photographs, even a Norman 
          Rockwell painting (fraught with menace, a picture of an Arab terrorist 
          facing a glowering George Bush, both armed and ready). The collage is 
          a pastiche of emotions and graphic techniques. In some of the strips, 
          Spiegelman appears in his Maus guise, evoking in picture and words his 
          Pulitzer-winning graphic novel about his parents' survival of Auschwitz 
          as an analog to his own experience of raining death on September 11. 
          In other strips, Spiegelman is merely a caricature of himself, screaming 
          that the sky is falling. To depict himself and his wife as he works 
          through his obsessive conspiracy-detection phase, he resorts to the 
          conflict-laden domesticity of Jiggs and Maggie, aping George McManus' 
          distinctive way of rendering his classic Bringing 
          Up Father. The Katzenjammer Kids show up as "the Tower Twins" 
          with skyscrapers sprouting out of the tops of their heads.              Although 
          he began the project half-convinced that he would not live to see it 
          through to completion, by the time he reached the fourth page (which 
          he produced during the weeks just before and after the first anniversary 
          of 9/11), his focus had widened to include shock and awe at the Bush 
          League's rapid employment of the tragedy to support the war without 
          end that it launched before the toxic dust had settled in Ground Zero. 
          The next couple of pages end with a panel that evokes Winsor McCay's 
          Little Nemo in Slumberland -in 
          which Little Artie Maus falls out of bed, awakening from the nightmare 
          of that page to discover the ni             Each 
          of the ten pages, double-trucks turned sideways and lying flat without 
          an intervening gutter, is a rhetorical unit: the chaotic shards of emotions, 
          thoughts, and fears scattering across the surface of every page achieve 
          a kind of thematic unity subsumed under the page's dominant image. The 
          first page evokes the dreaded menace of what may come next, after the 
          Towers have fallen; the image is the "other shoe" that we 
          are all waiting to drop. A two-tier strip provides a comical big-nosed 
          vaudevillian "history" of the origin of the expression "dropping 
          the other shoe." And at the bottom of the page within an immense 
          circular shape, we see a terror-stricken mob running down the street 
          as a giant shoe falls from the sky above. The theme of the next page 
          is the collapsing Towers and the emerging threat of our own government. 
          The third page details the rescue of Nadja but also questions the reliability 
          of a government that lies about the quality of the air in Lower Manhattan. 
          The fourth page is devoted to memories, snapshots of the events at Nadja's 
          school, but the uppermost panel reminds us that the Bush League has 
          hijacked the terror and put our fear to use in the service of a neo-conservative 
          agenda. Here caricatures of Bush and Cheney ride a giant eagle, yelling 
          "Let's roll!" as Cheney slits the bird's throat with a box 
          cutter. The fifth page ignores the government's hijacking of our national 
          grief and despair but sounds the alarm about the ill-conceived invasion 
          of Iraq. By the last page, Spiegelman has dealt with the rootlessness 
          this calamitous attack created, the divisiveness of the political reaction, 
          the topsy-turvy results of Bush policies, the paranoia that fear engenders, 
          the win-loss mentality infecting our culture (as Bush "wages war 
          and wars on wages" in Spiegleman's carefully crafted phrase), and 
          the displacement of our concerns by petty interests. On the last page, 
          the falling shoe returns as Spiegelman depicts another street scene 
          filled with mice and old-time comic characters, fleeing in frantic desperation 
          as the sky rains cowboy boots on the eve of the Republican Convention 
          in New York. With this deft deployment of his opening symbol, the cartoonist 
          summarizes the saga of the transfer of his anger and horror at the terrorist 
          attack to anger and disgust at the machinations of the Bush Administration, 
          as neat a trick of literary legerdemain as any novelist or poet has 
          performed.              While 
          the heavily freighted imagery of Spiegelman's comix is a challenge to 
          decode, the lamination onto it of souvenirs of a bygone comics age is 
          even more difficult to comprehend. Why include reprints of vintage comics? 
          Partly, this cultural detritus doubles the size of the volume, thereby 
          making a book of what would otherwise be a pamphlet. But Spiegelman 
          says he turned to old comics pages as others turned to poetry for comfort 
          in a world that seemed about to disintegrate. "The only culture 
          that was useful to me personally," he said, "was the comics 
          culture." Thematically, the old comics became a new kind of World 
          Trade Center: the twin Towers, once concrete and permanent, had disappeared 
          and become ephemeral-first, skeletal images of themselves, then nothing; 
          the old comics, the ephemera of another age, rose in Spiegelman's consciousness 
          as more lasting, more permanent-more concrete-than the Towers. Explaining 
          some of his devices during his presentation at the Festival, Spiegelman 
          said that the comics of 1900 are today a "snapshot" of the 
          life of that era. Moreover, they still work as comics. "Nothing 
          changes," he said. And from this realization, he derived a renewed 
          sense of purpose as a creative personality. The world had not ended 
          after all: the vintage comics at the end of the book are the volume's 
          "second tower," he said: together, the two sections of the 
          book take the place of the Towers that have disappeared. Thus, in the 
          shadow of "no towers," we find old snapshots of another time, 
          foreshadowing evidence that life will go on.             I arrived 
          at this conclusion with the considerable aid of the artist himself, 
          whose explanations, both in the book and in the Festival presentation, 
          augmented the imagery and the form of his comix creation, giving it 
          a meaning and a significance that I had difficulty discerning unassisted 
          from the content itself. Spiegelman is one of the most deliberate craftsmen 
          in the medium; every picture he makes is formed through conscious decision. 
          There are, seemingly, no accidents. Oh, a line here or there may drop 
          into place in a serendipitous fashion without deliberate intent, but 
          every image and every composition is a thoroughly thought-out, consciously 
          wrought achievement. And Spiegelman, a dedicated formalist, often produces 
          work that is embedded with design complexities that are obscure to the 
          point of invisibility. Among the images he displayed during his talk 
          was a page from Maus in which 
          he depicted himself at the drawingboard while contemplating the commercial 
          possibilities of the book; a large panel at the bottom of the page shows 
          that his drawingboard is perched on a heap of mouse corpses, the "survivors" 
          of Auschwitz. Spiegelman pointed out that the fragmentary shadow lurking 
          in the corners of the page's panels traced the tilted shape of the Nazi 
          swastika. Without his suggestion, I doubt that anyone would have seen 
          it, a grace note underscoring the irony of achieving fame and fortune 
          over the dead bodies of the century's most despicable act. Similarly, 
          when he said that in designing his No 
          Towers pages he employed a layout that "fell" down the 
          page "like the crumbling Towers" of the WTC, I suspect no 
          one could have determined that for himself without Spiegelman's help: 
          his No Towers pages are not 
          noticeably different in layout from any page of Sunday comics these 
          days, even with the occasionally overlapping images. But however obscure 
          such devices may be to us, they lend layers of meaning to the work for 
          its maker, inspiriting and energizing his effort, making the creation 
          possible. And for that, we must be thankful even if we cannot see, for 
          ourselves, unaided, the significance of these subtle presences: they 
          probably did more than we can say to bring Spiegelman back to cartooning.             By 
          his own admission, he had, for ten years, been loitering in the comfortable 
          lounge of The New Yorker. 
          "I'd spent much of the decade before the millennium trying to avoid 
          making comix," he writes in his Introduction to No Towers. "I'd gotten used to channeling my modest skills into 
          writing essays and drawing covers for The 
          New Yorker. Like some farmer being paid to not grow wheat, I reaped 
          the greater rewards that came from letting my aptitude for combining 
          the two disciplines lie fallow." But on the morning of the disaster, 
          he vowed to return to making comix full-time "despite the fact 
          that comix can be so damn labor intensive that one has to assume that 
          one will live forever to make them." No 
          Towers is pretty clearly his way of answering the question: What 
          does a cartoonist do about 9/11? And given Spiegelman's intellectualizing 
          of the artform, No Towers is a sometimes overwrought, mentally 
          belabored answer to the question. It is, however, an answer. Spiegelman's 
          explanations of his work are always almost as ingenious as the work 
          itself. And because his artistry is so deliberate, so conscious, he 
          can explain every image and its place on every page. Indeed, his explanations 
          are part of the work, adding layers of meaning that only the artist 
          could be aware of, but demonstrating, at the same time, how complex 
          comics can be. Just as there is more in a James Joyce novel than any 
          single reading can hope to discern, so is there more in a Spiegelman 
          comic strip. And much of it, like a Joycean allusion, is there to be 
          discovered only by repeated attempts to unearth meaning by persons to 
          whom Spiegelman's imagery has the same significance as it has for the 
          artist as a middle-aged man.              Spiegelman 
          was the final speaker in this year's Festival; Nicole Hollander had 
          been the first. With the thematic heading "Deletions, Omissions 
          and Erasures," this year's Festival was about censorship, including 
          self-censorship as well as editorial control-a topic right off the front 
          pages of everyone's hometown newspaper these days. It may be that we 
          live in a more vociferous age, or maybe it's simply that a polarized 
          populace is more easily inflamed than in times of yore. Whatever the 
          case, newspaper readers seem to be outraged more than ever by editorial 
          cartoons and, even, comic strips. And newspaper editors, in their confused 
          groping for ways to stem the ebbing of their readership, seem to be 
          asking for trouble: they install "edgy" comic strips on their 
          funnies pages in the hopes such works will attract younger readers, 
          but then, when the edgy strips offend older readers (and most newspaper 
          readership skews older), the editors fall allover themselves to apologize, 
          and then begin to scrutinize their product with censorious eyes. I work 
          myself up to a fine froth on this topic in an article for the Notebook 
          newsletter of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists, which 
          can be viewed at www.editorialcartoonists.com. 
          The differing sensibilities among generations are only part of the circumstance: 
          the so-called culture wars, pitting the moralistic right against the 
          licentious left, also foster censorship. Just a few days before the 
          Festival, NASCAR racer Dale Earnhardt Jr. was fined $10,000 for uttering, 
          in his exuberant victory interview, a certain four-letter word on national 
          tv. His slip was scarcely in the same category as Janet Jackson's exploding 
          bodice, but it was no doubt a moral affront to the same audience that 
          is outraged by nudity in any form.             Spiegelman's 
          connection to this Festival's theme is, doubtless, his contention that 
          the news media were going along with the Bush League in the frantic 
          weeks and menacing months after 9/11, to such an enthusiastic extent 
          that they suppressed virtually all deviating views in a fervor of a 
          grand and over-arching patriotism. I'm tempted, as a nearly unrelated 
          aside, to note that Spiegelman himself was "censored" in his 
          presentation. A two-pack-a-day cigarette smoker, Spiegelman breathes 
          nicotine and tars. And he accepts speaking engagements only if he is 
          permitted to smoke as he talks. The Festival's meeting facility, however, 
          is a "smoke free" environment, so Lucy Caswell arranged for 
          Spiegelman's presentation to take place outside on a terrace at the 
          back of the Blackwell Conference Hotel-under a tentlike awning that 
          had been erected for the purpose. For Spiegelman's show, we would all 
          troop outside and take seats under the canvas. Alas, by mid-afternoon 
          on the day of his presentation, the weather had turned inhospitable: 
          it was cold, somewhat rainy, and even little windy. Faced with this 
          situation, the cartoonist graciously consented to give up smoking for 
          the hour that it took him to make his presentation inside the hotel. 
          We could sit back in toasty-warm comfort while he feverishly chewed 
          some sort of vile "nicotran" gum and ran through the sequence 
          of his slides. It didn't seem to me that his presentation suffered at 
          all from his privation, but Spiegelman said he could have done it in 
          forty-five minutes if he'd been smoking.             Nicole Hollander, whose comic strip Sylvia has been wholly unabashed with its 
          social commentary since syndication in 1980, talked with the weary exasperation 
          of a frequent victim of censorship when she observed, at the opening 
          session on Friday morning, that a syndicated cartoonist can be censored 
          without even knowing it. A newspaper can drop Sylvia on a given day for using some allegedly offensive word or for 
          presenting an unpopular opinion, and Hollander might never know that 
          her strip has been dropped that day-unless a faithful reader tells her. 
          Phantom censorship. Print and broadcast media have different standards 
          about what is permissible and what isn't, she said. Back in the old 
          days when giants walked the earth, the press barons like William Randolph 
          Hearst, Joseph Pulitzer, and Joe Patterson could approve something for 
          publication, and that was the end of the discussion. There's no longer 
          anything like that, she said. Today's newspaper editors are cautious 
          in the extreme. "They would like things to be as quiet as possible," 
          Hollander said. And the comics "are like another world," a 
          world completely different from the world on the front pages of the 
          same newspapers that publish them. It's a world, she continued, "where 
          'Oh, my God' can't be uttered-a world like Laura Bush makes for her 
          husband," she finished with a wicked grin. Showing a succession 
          of Sylvia strips that had inspired alarm among 
          editors, Hollander came to a particularly caustic example in which Sylvia 
          observes that "you can't have an abortion because a doctor's life 
          may be in danger." Hollander told of another strip in which, during 
          a discussion of artificial insemination, the words "sperm" 
          and "infertility" were used. An officious editor was alarmed 
          about the potential the strip had for inspiring outrage among readers 
          and phoned the cartoonist, wondering if she would consider, in the interests 
          of heading off complaint, removing one of the two words. The mind boggles. 
          Just one of the two inflammatory words? Which one would be better, do 
          you suppose?  Concluding, Hollander sighed: "I hope for 
          the best," she said, "but we've lost a great deal."             The 
          second speaker was Tom Batiuk, 
          who, in his two syndicated newspaper strips, Funky 
          Winkerbean and Crankshaft, 
          often tells realistic stories that deal with social and human issues 
          like teen pregnancy, breast cancer, alcoholism, suicide, capital punishment, 
          aging, and illiteracy. Batiuk, not surprisingly, agreed with Hollander. 
          "Newspapers' main goal is not to get angry letters," he announced, 
          a telling indictment of today's journalistic enterprise. He then listed 
          the Top Ten things that, judging from recent history, need to be censored: 
          10) Garry Trudeau; 9) Any kind of change; 8) Anything that isn't a joke; 
          7) Anything that's too successful; 6) Anything that approaches mature, 
          adult thought; 5) Anything that might make readers think; 4) "Whatever 
          you do," Batiuk enjoined, "don't tell your readers what you think"; 3) Anything about 
          God; 2) Any sort of political discussion; and, finally, the top of the 
          Top Ten, the Number One thing that needs to be censored, "the Truth." 
          Don't tell the truth. And don't, by the same token, create characters 
          and be true to them.              Batiuk 
          was followed by Al Feldstein, 
          who, with EC publisher Bill Gaines, 
          created a line of horror comic books in the early 1950s and then edited 
          Mad for almost thirty years. Feldstein 
          fit into the mosaic of censorship because of EC's pivotal role in Fredric Wertham's campaign to destroy 
          all crime and horror comic books. Wertham failed to achieve that goal, 
          but his efforts resulted, eventually, in the institution of the Comics 
          Code Authority of 1954, a now notorious industry effort to censor itself. 
          Over the years at various convention presentations, Feldstein has taken 
          unto himself a more and more central role in the creation of the comic 
          book industry's most innovative line of comics. It was he, he told us, 
          who prompted Gaines to launch a series of horror titles (Tales 
          from the Crypt, the Vault of Horror, the Haunt of Fear). He allowed 
          as how Gaines was responsible for the EC science-fiction titles, but 
          it was he, Feldstein, who suggested that Harvey 
          Kurtzman be assigned to create an adult humor comic book, Mad. But Feldstein also reaffirmed the reason for Mad's conversion to magazine format. As 
          a magazine, Mad wasn't subjected 
          to the Code's strictures-an undeniably fortuitous outcome-but that wasn't 
          the reason for the comic book's conversion to a magazine. When Kurtzman 
          threatened to leave EC for a job with Pageant 
          magazine because he wanted to do more sophisticated satire than the 
          four-color comic book would permit, Gaines let him transform the comic 
          book to a "slick" magazine in order to keep him. Kurtzman 
          left anyway, a few issues later, and joined Hugh Hefner in producing 
          a slick magazine of satire, Trump.             Playboy's cartoon editor was next on the 
          roster. Michelle Urry, her 
          luxurious dark hair falling over her left eye in her trademark do, showed 
          slides of the magazine's cartoons to illustrate how Playboy 
          had handled topics that might outrage readers. While she spoke somewhat 
          scornfully about editors who think they must decide what the public 
          must be protected from, she also clearly knew which topics were the 
          most controversial. Urry read from a prepared text to which she attended 
          so studiously that she didn't notice until very late in the presentation 
          that all the slides had been loaded into the projector backwards. We 
          could see the pictures but couldn't read the captions. Urry, however, 
          didn't seem at all flustered by this compared to her evident unease 
          if she suspected someone in the audience was not paying strict attention 
          to her remarks. If someone coughed or leaned over to comment to a neighbor, 
          Urry seemed aware of it and often commented on it, usually in a humorous 
          way. That seemed odd to me: she is a good-looking woman and seemed otherwise 
          poised and completely at ease. During the question period after her 
          presentation, the inevitable happened: asked how long she'd been cartoon 
          editor at Playboy, Urry smiled 
          sweetly and said, "Longer than I'm going to admit." (At least 
          twenty-five years that I know of by personal experience; probably closer 
          to thirty-five or forty years. Gentlemen don't tell, I know; but, then, 
          I'm just a typist making no pretense at being a gentleman.)              Charles Brownstein, director of the Comic 
          Book Legal Defense Fund since 2002, discussed the history of censorship 
          in comics by noting the three crises that had plagued (and shaped) the 
          medium. The first was in the 1950s-the institution of the self-censoring 
          Comics Code. Next came the underground comix of the late 1960s. And, 
          finally, the adult-content comic books of the mid-1980s -not porn but 
          comics with mature storylines in the manner of 
          Frank Miller's Dark Knight 
          Returns and Alan Moore's Watchmen. Works like these resulted in a continuing threat to comic 
          book shops because their content is not aimed at juvenile readers. Brownstein 
          closed with the mantra, "It's a medium, not a genre." A genre, 
          like children's literature, may employ a medium, like books; but the 
          medium, books, does not always and exclusively address young readers. 
          Ditto comic books.              In 
          this atmosphere of liberalism, Michael 
          Ramirez, the conservative-leaning editorial cartoonist at the Los Angeles Times, might have felt uncomfortable, 
          but if he did, he didn't show it. A past president of the AAEC and a 
          Pulitzer winner (1994), Ramirez was the first unabashed political opinion 
          monger in the docket, and he described himself and his brethren by saying, 
          "We get paid to be obnoxious." He admitted that there were 
          two sides to every issue-"My side and the wrong side"-but 
          insisted that his political affiliation was bipartisan: "I'm a 
          member of the anti-Stupid Party," he said with a smile.             We 
          finished the first day with a feast of James 
          Gillray, the 18th century British cartoonist. First, 
          a presentation, "A Genius on the Edge: James Gillray," by 
          an Australian with a neatly clipped British accent, Cindy McCreery, 
          who spoke charmingly but rapidly. I think women with British accents 
          are nearly irresistible, but, sadly, my hearing aids are attuned to 
          a different frequency and I could comprehend almost nothing of what 
          McCreery said. After her presentation, we all went to the OSU library 
          for refreshments and a display of Gillray prints. Then many of us went 
          to the Thurber House for another display (Ohio editorial cartoonists) 
          and more refreshments. Upholstered, now, with enough nourishment to 
          last the rest of the evening, cartooner Jim Whiting and I and Carl Nelson, 
          a good guy to have around anytime anywhere, visited the Book Loft in 
          Columbus' German Village and bought books at discounted prices.             Jay Lynch started the next day off with 
          stories about his various adventures at the cutting edge of the underground 
          comix movement of the sixties and seventies. Comix, he observed, came 
          into being as an otherwise unexpressed protest against the Comics Code. 
          None of his compatriots wanted to work under the blanderizing influence 
          of the Code, so they took to the streets with their deliberately outrageous 
          assaults on conventional mores-comic books about drugs and sex. Lynch's 
          recounting of this history was insightful and entirely accurate, citing 
          actual dates with aplomb. His own comix forays began at a very early 
          age with hectograph and mimeograph publications; you can find some of 
          his history and that of comix generally retailed in a book of mine, 
          The Art of the Comic Book (which 
          is previewed here). Lynch began 
          a career as a satirist while still a teenager, and he told us about 
          some of his efforts, undertakings that most people would describe as 
          "pranks" rather than "satire." I prefer satire. 
          Like the time he extolled in one of his publications the euphoric-inducing 
          qualities of smoking dog poop. The satire was clearly directed at people 
          who smoked all manner of mind-bending substances (some of which is even 
          termed "shit," you'll recall), but Lynch said one of his readers 
          was so persuaded that he actually tried smoking dog turds and was able, 
          afterwards, to recommend the experience highly. Later, recalling his 
          connection with Harvey Kurtzman 
          at Kurtzman's Help, Lynch 
          opined that he has become persuaded that all American culture after 
          1950 originated at 225 Lafayette Street, the offices of EC Comics and, 
          later, Mad. Given that most Americans, at one time in their lives or another, 
          read Mad, I agree with Lynch. 
          Kurtzman's influence has been pervasive, and that influence began at 
          EC.             Bob Levin, a lawyer and author of the 
          Fantagraphics book, The Pirates 
          and the Mouse: Disney's War against the Underground (270 6x9-inch 
          pages in hardcover, $24; www.fantagraphics.com), 
          discussed the legal battle between Disney and the underground cartoonists 
          known as the Air Pirates, who produced blasphemous versions of Mickey 
          and Minnie and the rest of the Disney menagerie as the thin edge of 
          a wedge to dislocate American culture by attacking it at its source. 
          Levin said he was drawn into the book project by an interest in obscure 
          comics-related topics, and once into the Air Pirates, he was fascinated 
          by the ramifications of the case. Corporate control of image, he observed, 
          has become, in recent years, a hot button item. The question of copyright 
          has absorbed the attentions of many an attorney lately, pitting the 
          sanctity of copyright against the exchange of ideas that is vital to 
          a free society with capitalism as its economic base. How long should 
          a copyright prevent the unlicensed use of a created artifact? Disney, 
          seeking to hold onto Mickey Mouse as a corporate symbol, successfully 
          lobbied Congress to extend the life of a copyright for decades beyond 
          the death of the originator. (Seventy-five years, as I recall.) Opponents 
          note that the extension perverts the original intent of the Constitutional 
          provision for copyright, which was to assure for a "limited time" 
          that inventors and creators realize a reasonable financial return for 
          their creativity. The notion of "fair use" included in the 
          copyright law permits some use of copyrighted material by those who 
          do not hold the copyright-provided, and this seems key, that the market 
          value of the copyrighted item is not affected. This proviso surfaces 
          again in questions about the use of copyrighted material in parody. 
          A parody can't work without using the material being ridiculed, so the 
          question of what is permissible revolves around the intent of the parodist: 
          if the use of a substantial portion of copyrighted material has as its 
          object diminishing the market value of the copyrighted material, it 
          is illegal. And why else would a parodist ridicule something except 
          to reduce its appeal (i.e., its market value)? Hence, the predicament. 
          Levin didn't solve it, but he referred to a recent book discussing this 
          dilemma, Free Culture: How Big 
          Media Uses Technology and the Law to Lock Down Culture and Control Creativity, 
          by Lawrence Lessig, the attorney who argued against extending the life 
          of a copyright before the Supreme Court. And lost.              One 
          morning as we stood holding sweet rolls and coffee cups, Levin told 
          me that the astonishing thing about his book is how many of the Air 
          Pirates comix were printed therein-the very artifacts that Disney had 
          succeeded in banning forever from print. He's waiting, he said, to see 
          how it will all play out.             Dan Perkins, known to most of the civilized 
          and uncivilized world as "Tom Tomorrow," presented "Life 
          in This Modern World," slides of his strip by that name. Alas, 
          he, like McCreery, read rapidly from a prepared text, and his low and 
          seductive tone, while suitable to ironic commentary, was nearly incomprehensible 
          to my aided ears. Next, Lalo 
          Alcaraz, whose varied career as a satiric humorist includes stand-up 
          routines, publishing, and editorial cartooning for the 
          L.A. Weekly as well as his current syndicated strip, La Cucaracha, presented a series of overheads about his strip and 
          his editoons. The strip, a deliberate affront to bigotry about (and 
          by) Latino America, has enjoyed some of the celebrity The 
          Boondocks enjoys but not, yet, its circulation. (Andrews McMeel 
          has just produced a reprint of the first year of the strip that includes 
          an Introduction by yrs trly, which appears, by way of review, down the 
          never-ending page of this installment of Rancid Raves; scroll down to 
          see it.) For his presentation, Alcaraz assumed a stage persona as a 
          cartoonist somewhat baffled by the eccentricities of newspaper editors 
          who, on the one hand, want his edgy strip but, on the other hand, shudder 
          whenever it gets edgy.             Ann Telnaes, another Pulitzer-winning 
          editoonist (and only the second woman of the profession to be so honored), 
          showed slides of her work with minimum accompanying commentary: her 
          stance, probably, is that the work should speak for itself. And the 
          work is notable, as I've said here many times before, because she so 
          often speaks to issues few other editorial cartoonists attend to-women's 
          concerns, for instance, particularly as they surface in Arab countries, 
          where women have few rights. Telnaes is utterly outspoken: without a 
          home paper, she gets into print solely by syndication, which means no 
          one edits her. Her cartoons are simply put "out there"; and 
          if an editor somewhere objects to what she says, he doesn't publish 
          the cartoons that say it. Threatened, recently, with violence by an 
          e-mailer, Telnaes was subsequently gratified to learn that she was supported 
          by even some of those who disagreed with her, who wrote to urge her 
          to continue doing what she was doing. Trained in animation, Telnaes 
          produces cartoons in a drawing style completely foreign to the usual 
          in the medium, and her work is distinguished by a stunning design sense. 
          Her cartoons were recently exhibited at the Library of Congress, and 
          a book, Humor's Edge (144 8x8-inch pages in paperback, some in color; Pomegranate, 
          $24.95), resulted; I'll be reviewing it here next month.             The 
          last speaker before Spiegelman was Joel 
          Pett, Pulitzer-winning editorial cartoonist at the Lexington Herald-Leader, former president of AAEC and a board member 
          of the international human rights organization, Cartoonists Rights Network 
          (CRN). Pett spoke about the precarious professional status of political 
          cartoonists in other countries, mostly Third World countries, where 
          an outspoken editoonist is as likely to be jailed as to be read. CRN 
          exists to come to their aid. Sometimes just the fact that an outside 
          agency notices the plight of an incarcerated cartoonist is enough to 
          get them released; sometimes, the effort required must be more extensive. 
          During the lunch hours on both days of the Festival, a video traced 
          the life and career of a Palestinian cartoonist, Naji al-Ali, who was, 
          finally, killed by those who disagreed with him.             The 
          Festival ended Saturday evening with a banquet that featured no speakers 
          at all. Traditionally, the banquet is an occasion for guest cartoonists 
          and registrants to socialize and discuss their mutual interests without 
          the impediments of a formal program. There is, however, the annual drawing 
          for door prizes, and Ed Black got all the Pogo figures. The next Festival, 
          scheduled for the fall of 2007, will feature, among other things, the 
          life and work of Milton Caniff, the centennial of whose birth will be 
          celebrated that year. By then, my biography of Caniff will be out and 
          available.  Of Cockroaches 
          and Salsa (first published 
          in a review of the year 2002 in The Comics Journal)  The latest entry into the lists of deliberately antagonistic 
          comic strips is La Cucaracha, 
          a Latino land mine planted in the Hispanic boondocks, by Lalo Alcaraz, a 38-year-old comedian, writer, illustrator, political 
          agitator, public speaker, and cartoonist. It is no coincidence that 
          Alcaraz's strip is syndicated by Universal Press, which also distributes 
          Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks strip 
          and Doonesbury as well as Baldo, a strip launched in 2000 about 
          an agreeable Latino teenager and his family by Hector Cantu and artist Carlos 
          Castellanos. Looking at this line-up, you'd think Universal has 
          a corner on the controversy market. It also distributes Pat Oliphant's ferocious editorial cartoon as well as Ted Rall's irreverent endeavors. The comics 
          pages need sharp-edged, culturally critical voices, says Greg Melvin, 
          who is Trudeau's editor and McGruder's as well as Alcaraz's at Universal. 
          "The comics have to reflect the world is changing."             Alcaraz's 
          parents were Mexican natives but he was born and educated in the U.S., 
          spending summers in Mexico, where he was exposed to that country's prolific 
          cartoon industry, which produces comic book print runs in the millions. 
          At San Diego State University, Alcaraz drew editorial cartoons for the 
          campus paper, graduating in 1987 and going to the University of California 
          at Berkeley to pursue a master's degree in architecture. There, he co-founded 
          a comedy sketch troupe, the Chicano Secret Service, that toured the 
          West Coast 1988-1996, and a satirical magazine, Pocho. 
          Since 1992, he has produced editorial cartoons for the L.A. Weekly, and that's where his cockroach debuted as "L.A. Cucaracha."             The 
          unruly insect was featured in the early strips but faded into the background 
          somewhat as the strip slowly transformed itself into a single-panel 
          editorial cartoon. Alcaraz, meanwhile, approached several syndicates 
          with a proposal to do a comic strip based upon the character. In 1998, 
          Universal signed him to a development contract that gave him time and 
          editorial guidance in refining his concept. That The 
          Boondocks was launched at right about that time is probably not 
          coincidental: McGruder's strip enjoyed the most successful launch in 
          recent history, strenuously suggesting, I surmise, that something appealing 
          to the growing Latino population in the U.S. might also do well. Although 
          well-received in various markets, Baldo, Universal's first foray in this 
          direction, is too good-natured to swagger up to Hispanic readership 
          the way The Boondocks did to African-American readership 
          everywhere it appeared. La Cucaracha, 
          however, is right on target (Alcaraz jokingly calls it "Doonesbarrio"). 
          Andrews McMeel has just brought out a strip-entitled tome that reprints 
          the strip's first year from its debut November 25, 2002 to September 
          6, 2003 (128 8.5x9-inch pages in paperback, $10.95), and (a wondrous 
          bonus to historians) every strip carries the date of its initial publication!             The 
          chief actors in the strip's inaugural weeks are Eddie, an easy-going 
          Mexican American (who might be Alcaraz's milder alter ego) with whom 
          the title character (aka Cuco Rocha, an anthropomorphic hipster of the 
          Blattidae persuasion, the cartoonist's politically radical side) bickers 
          about the state of Latino America, and Neto, Eddie's tech-savvy bicultural 
          little brother, and Vero (for Veronica), a Latina with her head on straight 
          who might be the only sensible one of the bunch.             Alcaraz's 
          drawing style, simple and somewhat angular with an unvarying line, is 
          entirely competent, betraying actual artistic skill (unusual among so 
          many contemporary newspaper strips). He spots blacks nicely, and the 
          strip has a crisp attractive clarity. His images, particularly Vero's, 
          sometimes, perhaps unintentionally, evoke Mexican codex. Often (but 
          not always) he devotes most of every panel to the utterances of his 
          characters with the result that much of the humor is verbal, the pictures 
          serving merely to identify the speakers and time comedic revelations. 
          Still, Alcaraz resorts to pictorial hilarities much more frequently 
          than either Tinsley or McGruder, and his strip is better as a result.             The 
          first strips in November and December 2002 commented on the emerging 
          Latino majority among minorities, the absence of people of color on 
          tv, and the downside to Latinos becoming the "biggest minority"-namely, 
          as Cuco says, "endless cheesy marketing" (even Eddie succumbs, employing 
          a Ricky Martin Visa Card to buy their drinks).              Eddie 
          rejoices that the larger the Latino population, the more attention he 
          and his amigos will get. "We're finally being discovered," he exclaims.             "Yeah, 
          Eddie," Cuco observes wryly, "'being discovered' really worked out well 
          for the Indians."             Alcaraz 
          chose a cockroach as his title character because, he told me, he "didn't 
          want to toss away a character that my audience was familiar with." By 
          using a cockroach, a traditional literary figure in Mexican pop culture, 
          Alcaraz also strikes a blow for Latino status by turning a negative 
          into a positive. Said Alcaraz: "In the U.S., the cockroach was turned 
          into a racial epithet by Americans (who will swear up and down that 
          there is no racism in this country) against Mexicans, Chicanos and Latinos 
          alike. I reclaim the cucaracha," he continued (I can almost see him 
          mounting the barricade, waving a banner), "which has come to represent 
          the people, the masses, the lumpen, the underdog, and have put him on 
          top. He is defiant and makes the statement-Yeah, I'm a cucaracha! What 
          are you gonna do about it?"             Alcaraz's 
          revolutionary stance is perhaps best illustrated in the brouhaha he 
          precipitated about the first Latin Grammys in 2000. Some Mexican artists 
          wanted to boycott the event because they felt they were being elbowed 
          out by Americanized Latin pop. Emilio Estefan, the Cuban American music 
          mogul whose work earned six nominations, criticized the group for being 
          divisive. To express solidarity with his fellow Chicanos, Alcaraz penned 
          a parody news item in his L.A. 
          Weekly column. Using Estefan as a representative target, Alcaraz 
          referred to him as a "generalissimo" of the Latin Grammys, which (Alcaraz 
          said) Estefan declared was "an independent nation." And he wrote some 
          other hilarious but uncomplimentary things. Estefan threatened a law 
          suit, and Alcaraz appeared in a nationally broadcast tv message to explain 
          that his so-called "news item" was a parody. Opinion not news. And he 
          further explained that Estefan did not really say the things he was 
          alleged to have said in the parody. The message was ostensibly contrite, 
          but it was delivered by Alcaraz dressed in Fidel Castro fatigues, punctuating 
          his remarks with a large cigar.             Said 
          Alcaraz: "Latinos don't ingest enough irony."             He 
          acknowledges that "a lot of people get on me for criticizing Latinos, 
          but I always say I do it because I care." Baldo, 
          he says, is a cute family strip. But "someone had to make a big splash 
          and create a strip that makes a statement, that takes a stand and has 
          the nerve to disagree with the mainstream. I'm here to make an impact."             At 
          the same time, he aims to "create images and portrayals of Latinos and 
          other people of color in the media that don't come off as stereotypes, 
          or sunny, Pollyanna-ish idealized caricatures of real people. Latinos 
          are normal people. We are so mainstream it's ridiculous. I want to show 
          how we speak Spanglish, how we relate to stuff on tv, how we feel alienated 
          and how we like watching 'Friends.'" In short, Alcaraz will be lobbing 
          satiric grenades over the fence in both directions-at American mainstream 
          and Latino mainstream.              And 
          while newspaper editors around the country ponder whether or not to 
          appeal to Hispanic  The Eerie Glow in Danziger's 
          'Toons One 
          of the best things about the final throes of a Presidential election 
          campaign is that the hapless voter is not left in any doubt as to what 
          the candidates think of each other. We've almost never had any difficulty 
          about that this time, but in most of these quadrennial contests, the 
          months leading up to the last weeks' spasm of vituperative contumely 
          are relatively well-mannered. Each candidate tries to convince his constituencies 
          that his opponent is a scoundrel and a wife-beater without actually 
          saying it. This time, the rivals have been saying it all along, thanks 
          to the miracles of tv attack ads. In this climate of over-heated rhetoric, 
          editorial cartoonists are quite at home.              That's because political cartoons are 
          one-sided. They embody unfair expressions of opinion, and the more vivid 
          and uncompromising the expression, the better the cartoon. "A cartoon 
          cannot say 'on the other hand,'" editoonist Doug Marlette reminds 
          us, "-it cannot be defended with logic. It is a frontal assault, 
          a slam dunk, a cluster bomb. Journalism is about fairness, objectivity, 
          factuality; cartoons use unfairness, subjectivity, and the distortion 
          of facts to get at truths that are greater than the sum of the facts."             Into this one-sided fray to get at 
          the truth comes Jeff Danziger with the latest compilation of his recent 
          work, the title of which alerts us at once to his general assessment 
          of the State of the Union as well as his admirably unflinching posture 
          in print. Wreckage Begins with W: Cartoons of the Bush 
          Administration (3207x10-inch pages in paperback; Steerforth Press, 
          $16.95) starts on January 9, 2000, the beginning of the last Presidential 
          ElectionYear, and ends on February 9, 2004, just as John Kerry emerged 
          from the Democrat pack as George W. ("Whiner") Bush's chief 
          challenger.              The book thus contemplates with appropriate 
          horror and unrelenting alarm the contested count in Florida, GW's faith-based 
          biases, the atrocity of September 11, the invasion of Afghanistan, the 
          erosion of Constitutional rights in the name of national security, the 
          deterioration of the alleged peace process in Israel, the skyrocketing 
          national deficit, the recklessness of the invasion of Iraq, the bungled 
          post-war operation there, the escalating violence in that country, international 
          hostility towards the U.S., and, over-all, the general stupidity of 
          the current resident at the White House and the ineptitude of the Bush 
          League. It is, in other words, a book after my own heart.             Another cartoonist, Frank Miller-who 
          reigns in the universe of comic books and graphic novels-commences firing 
          in his Foreword, saying, without blink or blush, "Let us now praise 
          angry men. ... These are angry cartoons by an angry man in an angry 
          time," Miller goes on, "-you won't see any weeping Statue 
          of Liberty in this book. This is gut-punch stuff, much needed in a time 
          of flabby rhetoric and flabby thinking. ... Danziger's intensity reminds 
          me of Herblock's and Paul Conrad's historic campaign of wit against 
          President Nixon."              Miller's first encounter with Danziger 
          was as his student in a high school English class thirty years ago. 
          They enjoyed arguing then, Miller remembers. And Danziger engineered 
          a passing grade in history for Miller, who was in danger of failing 
          the class. According to a reliable source of mine, Miller and his history 
          teacher were having a meeting to discuss whether or not the youth would 
          graduate, when Danziger stuck his head in and asked the history teacher 
          a simple question: "Do you really want to have this kid in your 
          class another year?" Miller got a C in history and graduated forthwith.             Danziger is perfectly capable of explaining 
          his stance as a cartoonist without Miller's aid. In his Introduction, 
          he begins by talking about the importance of drawing to cartooning ("even 
          if most practitioners work hard to make it look otherwise") and 
          concludes that for the last three years his most frequently deployed 
          visual effect has been "generalized wreckage." Elaborating, 
          he continues: "We now live in a country where the visual metaphor 
          of wreckage can be drawn as a background for all sorts of things-the 
          economy, the political scene, the culture wars, and, of course, the 
          real wars. It is probably unfair to place all the blame for this trend 
          on the current administration, but they do seem to have taken the old 
          saw about making omelettes a bit far," and he concludes with a 
          deft metaphor: "One could say that Mr. Bush proves the observation 
          that for a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail."             One of the scenes of wreckage appeared 
          on September 13, 2001. Amid the debris in Lower Manhattan, Danziger 
          shows firemen working, and a man with a cell phone approaches Rudy Giuliani, 
          saying, "Mister Mayor-it's the President. He wants to know if it's 
          safe for him to come to New York now."             The essence of political cartooning 
          is the visual metaphor, a picture that represents an opinion in memorable 
          terms. In one of his mid-2002 efforts, Danziger draws Miss Liberty sitting 
          in a jail cell with the Bill of Rights on the floor next to her. Closing 
          the cell door is Cheney, who says, "You'll be completely safe here." 
          And Bush, peering through the bars from outside, smiles benignly and 
          says, "Remember, we love freedom."              And here's a small crowd of Arabs, 
          Iraqis doubtless, standing around a U.S. tank as a soldier standing 
          on the tank addresses them: "Okay, now, democracy! Who wants democracy? 
          Let's see some hands." Not a hand in sight.              One of his most stunning images is 
          a silhouetted tree with a man hanged from a limb. The caption: "If 
          Strom Thurmond had been black and had crossed the color line ..." 
          This cartoon was drawn, the explanatory caption divulges, when it was 
          revealed that the wizened old senator, in his youth, had fathered a 
          child with his black mistress.              Some of Danziger's metaphors are nearly 
          wordless. Employing a bawdy joke of antiquity, he shows GW playing piano 
          in a brothel. The sign on the piano reads, "I have no idea what's 
          going on upstairs," and the stairway to his right and the room 
          around him are festooned with pictures on the wall depicting bags of 
          money and statues of naked nymphs, cavorting.             And the cartoonist sometimes uses the 
          comic strip form to present the sequence of a so-called train of logic. 
          Here's GW in a contemplative mood: "So I asked myself, 'What would 
          Jesus do?' And Jesus told me, 'I would take care of the poor, and the 
          sick, and the old people.' So I said, 'Great!'" And in the last 
          panel, he beams out at us: "'You take care of the poor, the sick 
          and the old people, and I'll take care of everybody else.'"             Finally, here's a bitterly ironic picture 
          of soldiers in a trench, under fire. One says, "Well, the administration's 
          policy certainly seems to be working." "Yeah," says the 
          man next to him, "-we're not swatting at flies anymore," a 
          reference to the Bush League's explanation for why they didn't pursue 
          al Qaeda at first because they wanted to develop an over-arching policy 
          to get at terrorism. They didn't want to do it an incident at a time, 
          piece-meal, which seemed, in GW's memorable phrase, "like swatting 
          flies."             Not that Danziger is particularly partial 
          to the opposition party. In February 2003, he depicts a few Democrat 
          donkeys in a bar, one of them saying into his cell phone: "What 
          d'you mean I'm not engaged in the great issues of the day? I'm down 
          here drinkin' myself to death aren't I?"             And he shows Bill Clinton and his wife 
          Hillary with hypodermic needles in their arms, his labeled "Sex" 
          and hers, "Ambition," with a caption: "The Clintons explained."             The cartoonist's forte is atmosphere, 
          not caricature; his caricatures are often only barely recognizable approximations 
          of his targets. But his pictures are stunningly rendered. With a drawing 
          style that deploys a bold, undulating outline, embellished with shading 
          lines that are mostly vertical, Danziger evokes a eerily menacing world. 
          The people in his pictures look strained as if they are barely functional, 
          haunted by some unspeakable external pressure. His rendering of the 
          human physiognomy often produces a cadaverous visage. And the vertical 
          shading lines seem to light these ghoulish zombies from below as if 
          they are lit by hellfires just out of our line of sight. The atmosphere 
          conjured up by the visuals underscores Danziger's unflinching vision 
          of the disasters of our political life.             A military veteran (1967-71) who served 
          as an intelligence office in Vietnam in 1970, Danziger sees a re-enactment 
          in Iraq. Vietnam, he says, was "a mess. I see many parallels with 
          Iraq." More than that, the disastrous results of the Iraq debacle 
          "announced to everyone in the world the limits of what we can do. 
          That's a very dangerous thing to have done." The U.S. had more 
          power and influence in the world before this demonstration of the limits 
          of its power.             After his stint in the Army, Danziger 
          taught English in high school for about ten years. He started moonlighting 
          political cartoons as a freelance contributor to a couple of newspapers 
          in Vermont in 1975, then in 1982, he took the plunge, quit teaching, 
          and started cartooning full-time for the New 
          York Daily News. "I knew that if I didn't quit one, I'd never 
          get serious about the other," he told me.              Later, he joined the Christian Science Monitor for ten years, 
          leaving in 1996 to become one of only a handful of editoonists who ply 
          their craft entirely through syndication without a newspaper staff position. 
          (Pat Oliphant, Ted Rall, and Ann Telnaes are three others in a similar 
          situation.) Footloose, Danziger can cartoon from anywhere these days, 
          electronic transmission giving him an immediate presence in the city 
          rooms of all 100 of his client papers. He spent the last two years, 
          before returning this fall to New York, in Frankfort, Germany, where 
          his significant other worked as a bank executive. Danziger is a writer 
          as well as a cartoonist: he's written for The New Yorker and newspapers, and he produced 
          a novel, Rising Like the Tucson, 
          based partly on his Vietnam experiences. But his pen is meanest when 
          he uses it to draw. 
 UNDER THE SPREADING PUNDITRY: 
          ONE MORE TIME Political 
          debate these days has degenerated into willful misunderstanding and 
          distortion. Instead of arguing policy with a candidate, his opponents 
          pounce on whichever phrase he's uttered that lends itself to the wildest 
          misrepresentation. The Bush League is expert at this. John Kerry's now 
          infamous "wrong war, wrong place, wrong time" was first intoned 
          by the candidate as a way of comparing the invasion Iraq with the invasion 
          of Afghanistan; the purpose of the phrase was to dramatize the Bush 
          League's abandonment of the War on Terror (properly, in Kerry's view, 
          conducted in Afghanistan) in favor of the War on Saddam (which, in Kerry's 
          view, is a diversion, a distraction). The "right war" is, 
          in Kerry's view, the War on Terror; the "right place" is Afghanistan, 
          where al Qaeda is reconstituting itself while the U.S. and its allies 
          are concentrating their efforts elsewhere. The "right time" 
          falls outside this train of logic: the spring of 2003 was the "wrong 
          time" to invade Iraq because the "right time" for that 
          invasion would be after the weapons inspectors completed their work 
          and diplomacy was given a chance to operate. None of this matters to 
          the Bush League: they want to conduct a campaign that ignores Dubya's 
          numerous mistakes, and they have become very skilled at creating little 
          bonfires of scandal (the Swift Boat incident and, lately, the "outing" 
          of Mary Cheney) that suck up all the air time on the networks so that 
          there's no time left to focus on the catastrophic errors of Dubya's 
          leadership.              If Dubya is such a dandy leader, how 
          come we were so unprepared for the attacks of September 11, 2001? Clearly, 
          he was leading us in a direction away from preparedness. If he's such 
          a dandy leader, how come he spends so much time out of sight, cutting 
          brush at his rancho in Texas? And if he's working so "hard" 
          at fighting terror, how come we see him all the time on the campaign 
          trail, shouting the same slogans over and over again? Who's minding 
          the store?             As the Election Cycle enters the stage 
          of its final froth, let me round off our coverage of the Presidential 
          Debates by acknowledging that George W. ("Whiner") Bush seemed 
          to do much better at the Second and Third set-to with Kerry. Better 
          than he did in the First. But that's not saying much, considering how 
          abysmally he comported himself during the first encounter. Still, I 
          suspect we saw more of the "real" Dubya in the town-meeting 
          style debate than we've seen before. He was actually glib: he had facts 
          on the tip of his tongue, he didn't stutter or say "uh" too 
          many times. He didn't stare blankly ahead of him while thinking of something 
          to say. He was alert and articulate. If that's the way he is in real 
          life, then we've been getting a phoney all this time-that foot-shuffling, 
          aw-shucks country boy (but resolute) demeanor is probably a front, masking 
          the real George W. ("Whopper") Bush. In the Third Debate, 
          however, GW seemed more on the defensive, and the more he felt obliged 
          to explain his policies and official postures, the more high-pitched 
          his whine became. His platitudes began to sound like pleas.             Kerry, on the other hand, was a commanding 
          presence by comparison. Still, a standard criticism of his campaign 
          is that he isn't specific about Iraq. No? Well, let's compare specifics, 
          shall we? Kerry says he intends, first, to internationalize the operation 
          by calling a summit meeting (which will include other nations in Iraq's 
          neighborhood-the ones most likely to profit from a stable society between 
          the Tigris and the Euphrates). Next, he'll move to close Iraq's borders 
          to keep out roving bands of al Qaeda operatives or frustrated Iraqi 
          nationalists or whoever. Finally, he'll step up the training of Iraqi 
          security forces and army. Now, admittedly, he doesn't say when-month 
          and day-he'll convene a summit, but still, this plan seems much more 
          specific than anything we're getting from the Bush League. Dubya is 
          still long on slogans and short on anything else: "Freedom's on 
          the march. Be resolute and strong. Don't give up. Have elections. Hunt 
          those terrorists down." Don't see much specificity there, kimo 
          sabe. But, we are assured, Dubya has a "vision" for America. 
          He knows where he wants to lead it.             And that's the terrifying part. His 
          unspecified vision. If we are to judge from the performance of the past 
          four years, he and his big money cronies will invade Iran and give the 
          rich more tax breaks and turn more and more of the wilderness areas 
          of the land over to lumber and oil companies. We can't safely trust 
          what this guy says-he often says one thing while doing the opposite 
          (as in the "Clear Skies" policy that will result in more pollution)-and 
          when he isn't specific at all, that would seem to leave the door wide 
          open for whatever mad adventure he wants to take with other people's 
          sons and daughters.              Some of George W. ("Warlord") 
          Bush's stump speech in these closing weeks verges on self-parody. Attacking 
          Kerry's desire to restore a tax that Dubya cut for the rich, GW says, 
          scornfully, "The rich are gonna pay for Kerry's health care? Not 
          likely. Why do you suppose the rich people hire all those lawyers and 
          accounts? They do it in order to slip the bill to you" (by whom 
          he means the ever-lovin' middle class tax payer). Wait a minute. Does 
          GW hear what he's saying? He's saying that the very people he's bent 
          on giving tax cuts to will spend all kinds of effort and boodle to avoid 
          paying taxes. They get a double dose of reduction, then-part Bush League 
          largesse and part privately financed chicanery. These are the guys who, 
          the Bush League faith-based economic philosophers believe, will take 
          the money they save on taxes and devote it to building their businesses 
          thereby creating jobs for the unemployed. Say what? Those loop-hole 
          hugging fat cats are going to let loose of some of their money? Geez, 
          George: grow up. Or wake up. Or listen to what you're saying.             Even if Kerry isn't being specific 
          (although I don't know how much more specific he could be), we know 
          he's in favor of international partnerships as a fundamental aspect 
          of America's foreign policies. And such a spirit of cooperation seems 
          more "American" than the unilateral go-it-alone cowboy strut 
          of the Bush Leaguers. By their temperaments you shall judge them: partner 
          on the one hand; bully on the other. Take your choice.              All of which brings me to an essay 
          I wrote last spring and never promulgated hereabouts. Now you'll be 
          treated to this antique document. Partly, it'll enable me to remove 
          from my desk all remnants of the Bush League Years in preparation for 
          the incoming Kerry administration. Partly, it permits me to brag about 
          how stunningly prescient I was in anticipating aspects of the Iraqi 
          situation that have been revealed in recent months, since I wrote the 
          essay. (Oh, sure. Tell us another one, oh ye of captivating modesty 
          and shining head.) HOW THE BUSH LEAGUE COULD 
          HAVE AVOIDED LYING ABOUT WMD I'm continually amazed at 
          the chutzpah of the Bush League. They expect us to believe that they 
          didn't tinker with the CIA and other intel about Iraq when it's fairly 
          well-known that they've tinkered with scientific reports on such things 
          as arsenic in the streams and global warming and the like. If they'll 
          tinker with scientific fact, why wouldn't they, just as readily, tinker 
          with so-called intelligence reports? Intelligence of this sort is always 
          ambiguous, including, as it inevitably must, information on both sides 
          of almost any question one might pose. Such data seems more adapted 
          to being tinkered with than scientific data, so why wouldn't it be?             My theory is that the neo-conservatives surrounding George 
          W. ("War Lord") Bush ignored the intel that didn't support 
          their long-intended invasion plans. The neo-cons believed, I gather, 
          that the Washington Establishment, including, in this case, the entrenched 
          bureaucrats of the CIA and other governmental intelligence-gathering 
          agencies, was too cautious-too "risk averse"-in interpreting 
          the data ("too cautious" or, alternatively, "too professional"). 
          These professionals were therefore prone to introducing gentle demurrers 
          about intel that would hamstring any planned action. Their caution (or 
          reasonableness-or laudable aversion to risking a definitive interpretation 
          of sketchy information) would, if heeded, result in delaying, again, 
          the invasion of Iraq and the overthrow of Saddam. Goodness knows, professional 
          bureaucrats are always saying "we can't do that because..."; 
          so the neo-cons decided to ignore them, and they found other sources 
          of more convivial intel-namely, the Iraqi defectors, all of whom had 
          a vested interest in getting the U.S. to oust Saddam. This was, in effect, 
          "faith-based" intelligence: it agreed with preconceived notions, 
          and they therefore had faith that it was accurate. They then tinkered 
          with the intelligence reports from more traditional governmental sources 
          in order to make that information coincide with or support their faith-based 
          intel. They weren't alone in concluding that Saddam was armed to the 
          teeth with WMD; Britain, France, even Germany also thought that Saddam 
          was girding for some sort of vile war. So we can scarcely hang the neo-cons 
          and the neo-cons alone for interpreting intelligence to make it agree 
          with their intentions.              But why Iraq? This brings us back, momentarily, to the Axis 
          of Evil. In the post-9/11 world, the rationale for containment of rogue 
          states lost much of its validity. Rogue states might be contained as 
          nations, but not its freelance operatives (as we have learned about 
          the Pakistani scientist selling nuclear gear to other parties). Nor 
          can we hope to contain unknown terrorists who lurk in the backwaters 
          of the world, awaiting opportunities to strike. If the enemy has no 
          borders, how can he be contained? He can't. Still, the most obvious 
          (perhaps simply because of the obviousness) of the hostile entities 
          that lurk are those nations with nuclear or WMD capacities because they 
          could sell this weaponry to terrorists. And so we arrive at the Axis 
          of Evil-North Korea, Iran, and Iraq. As a practical matter, however, 
          Iraq emerged as the only feasible target. North Korea, while already 
          selling weapons to other countries and, presumably, to other non-national 
          entities, was so closely allied with China, or vice versa, that an invasion 
          of North Korea risked tumbling the international structure in that vicinity. 
          Moreover, in any hostilities, South Korea would be pretty vulnerable. 
          North Korea was just a riskier gamble. Iran, meanwhile, while undoubtedly 
          a threat, was also poised to become more democratic; why upset the momentum 
          there? Iraq, on the other hand, was, as intelligence agents doubtless 
          knew, weak militarily. And friendless in the big power international 
          community. Moreover, as the neo-con strategy surely realized, Dubya 
          would be eager to take revenge upon Saddam for the presumed attempt 
          Saddam made on the life of George Senior (although that assassination 
          plot, as we've learned, was mostly imaginary). Finally, Saddam was in 
          violation of UN dictates and could be invaded on those grounds. Thus, 
          by a process of elimination, Iraq became the logical target. But not 
          because they possessed stockpiles of WMD.              So Dubya's argument for invading Iraq ought to have been: 
          in these times when national borders mean virtually nothing, we must 
          stop those who seem likely to befriend terrorists, and Saddam, in perpetual 
          violation of UN resolutions, is the first candidate. (Long-range neo-con 
          global strategy was, at the time, founded on the notion that whichever 
          country the US attacked, the attack itself would make the other countries 
          behave themselves because they would now "believe" that the 
          US would attack anyone in violation of international law. Ironically, 
          the Bush League bumbling in Iraq has resulted in something approaching 
          the opposite: our intelligence can no longer be trusted, and, although 
          our military might is impressive, our ability to deploy it in any way 
          short of overt force is highly questionable; in fact, we don't seem 
          able to think about international problems in terms other than shoot-outs 
          in Main Street. Instead of establishing our reputation with the invasion 
          of Iraq, the Bush League has nearly destroyed that reputation for all 
          practical purposes.) Dubya should have stressed Saddam's lawlessness 
          and the threat he posed as a potential supplier of weapons to terrorists-not 
          as a potential attacker himself. Then, he should have gone to the UN 
          and talked until everyone agreed to go along. Neo-cons, wishing all 
          the above, looked for WMD evidences in US intelligence that would support 
          their plan, whether those indications were there or not. They may not 
          have lied, but they surely mislead the American public.             Fundamental Islam could have been a factor in Dubya's rationale, 
          adding to the risk of trying to contain Saddam. Without demonizing Islam, 
          the Bush League could still have recognized that Islamic fundamentalism 
          gave terrorism a moral impetus. And it would be impossible to say how 
          this moral campaign might appeal to Saddam's megalomania. Under the 
          best of circumstances, Saddam himself was unpredictable-not evil, necessarily, 
          just unpredictable, even, by some measure, insane. We could scarcely 
          afford to wait him out, even if he was contained. (Rumor was, he was 
          on the verge of collapse anyhow; if we'd prolonged the discussion of 
          intervention with UN, he may have toppled of the weight of his own regime's 
          corruption.) Still, with the borderless terrorism displayed on 9/11, 
          the great risk was that Saddam, in his hatred of the US and desire to 
          achieve status among Arab states, would support terrorism by supplying 
          the technical know-how he had developed on chemical warfare; then, nuclear 
          capability.              I disagree with the preemptive strike idea if undertaken 
          by the U.S. and any coalition not the U.N. I also dislike being a citizen 
          of a bully nation. In short, I think Iraq should have been invaded and 
          Saddam deposed, but not by the U.S. alone and certainly not without 
          U.N. agreement and support. That's the huge mistake the neo-cons made. 
          They were, mostly, victims of their own hubris-on two counts: first, 
          they believe that the American people aren't capable of understanding 
          anything as complicated and as reasoned as the actual threat Saddam 
          posed (about which, more in a trice); second, they are convinced that 
          the American people are willing to accept almost any lie that George 
          W. ("Whopper') Bush might tell, provided he also, at the same time, 
          assured them that any contradictory thing they might know was, actually, 
          mistaken. So the neo-cons staged a massive deception, alleging WMD in 
          vast amounts in Iraq in order to persuade us that it was necessary to 
          invade.              The best argument for invading, it seems to me, is that, 
          given Saddam's history and megalomaniac personality, it would be imprudent 
          to believe him when he said he had no WMD. As I understand it, Saddam 
          had vast stockpiles of the stuff at the end of the first Gulf War in 
          1991; and the U.N. inspection teams discovered much of it and got it 
          destroyed but were unable to satisfy themselves that all of it had been 
          destroyed. Saddam wouldn't produce the evidence (if he had it) that 
          would assure them that all that stuff was gone. Why? Saddam's Arabian 
          machismo and megalomania demanded that he do nothing to diminish his 
          imagined stature in the Arab world. All those countries believed him 
          a hero for defying the U.S. If he gave in to U.N. demands or admitted 
          he had no WMD, he'd lose face. So he perpetuated what we now realize 
          was the mythology that he was armed and ready. [Interestingly, the recent 
          Duelfer Report makes precisely this point: the Iraqi dictator was obsessed 
          with his status in the Arab world and relied upon his presumed WMD and 
          defiant attitude to keep his prestige pumped up. Too bad we didn't have 
          any experts on Arab culture loose in the Rumsfeld's shop in those days.] 
          Saddam did say it had all be destroyed (wink, nudge), but would it have 
          been prudent to believe him? Probably not.              In the last analysis, we were faced, then, with Saddam's 
          record of inhuman treatment of his own subjects coupled to his possible 
          possession of WMD and the foolhardiness of believing that he no longer 
          had them-all of which seemed ample justification for regime change. 
                       It was this argument that the neo-cons didn't think we were 
          capable of believing. Obeying the impulses of the hubris that drives 
          them, they latched onto an argument that they believed was simple enough 
          for the average truck driver to understand and applaud: Saddam is poised 
          with WMD and ready to share them with terrorists or use them himself 
          to rain destruction on American with drone aircraft. This cynical underestimation 
          of the American people will, I wont, be the neo-cons eventual undoing; 
          and that has already begun, thanks to David Kay. (Who has also suggested 
          that Saddam had become slightly deranged in recent years and actually 
          believed he had a nuclear development program when he really didn't; 
          all he had was a bunch of scientists who lied to him about it in order 
          to get money for their personal expenses.)              In any event, the change of regime in Iraq should have been 
          effected through the U.N.-through international cooperation, not lone 
          ranger stuff. Alas, the neo-cons, believing that the U.N., like the 
          Washington Establishment, was more prone to delay than to act, wouldn't 
          wait for diplomacy to lay the groundwork for international invasion. 
          Probably Saddam would have quickly moved to re-constitute his WMD programs 
          if we'd left him entirely alone (and maybe that's what he thought he 
          was doing, actually, by giving out funds to atomic scientists). But 
          I doubt there was much real urgency to justify invading Iraq last year. 
          There was, however, another, even more urgent, reason for invading last 
          year. Hardline hold-outs like Donald Rumsfeld have now revealed that 
          reason to us. Rumsfeld, in seeking to deal with the missing WMD situation, 
          keeps saying, in effect, wait-we need more time to ascertain the location 
          of this stuff. More time. More time now, not more time last year. Why 
          not? Because the neo-con agenda required that Iraq be invaded and the 
          entire matter settled before George WMD Bush ran for re-election. If 
          their plan had worked (and most of it did until we got to the post-invasion 
          fiasco), we'd be out of Iraq by now, our troops safely home and the 
          Iraqis voting by droves in the desert. That would insure Dubya's re-election. 
          And that was the urgency behind the 2003 invasion scheme.              It has come to naught, you might say. But that won't prevent 
          the Bush League from pretending (as they've already started doing) that 
          everything in Iraq is rosy. That, after all, was the plan. And the Bush 
          League long ago demonstrated that its plans need not be changed to accommodate 
          actualities: the fantasy is appealing enough, they learned, to earn 
          the support of enough Americans to get them elected-er, appointed. They're 
          gambling that this situation has not changed enough in the four years 
          they've perpetuated falsehood and distraction to prevent us from noticing 
          that they're running around naked. They have Cheney's motto emblazoned 
          on their foreheads: Often in error but never in doubt. AND YET AGAIN. Yes, I suppose you're justified in supposing, given 
          the evidence before you, that once GW is defeated in his bid to be elected, 
          at long last, to the Presidency, I'll have nothing more to pile up in 
          the Punditry department. And that may be the case, which is all the 
          more reason to expend just one more minute on the Bush League. Here's 
          the Washington Post National Weekly (September 20-26) wondering about 
          Dubya's religion: yes, he's probably the most overtly religious President 
          we've had in decades (maybe ever), but just what religion is he? He 
          doesn't go to church on Sundays, so what denomination can claim him? 
          The clue is in Nancy Gibbs' article in Time 
          last June (21st), during which she notes that Dubya's embrace 
          of religion is "the approach of a Christian in Bible study searching 
          for the small inarguable nugget of scriptural truth that will enable 
          him to understand God's love for him, ignore all distractions, and stay 
          sober." The puzzled authors of the Washington Post piece have doubtless not 
          thought about the role of the Almighty in Alcoholics Anonymous. And 
          that is the God to whom Dubya prays. Gibbs quotes Charles Kimball, a 
          Baptist minister, who might be channeling GW: "I've experienced 
          the truth in religion because it's changed my life, and I don't need 
          to know a variety of other things because I know what's true for me." 
          As Gibbs says, this sort of conviction "may not be the best one 
          for deciding what to do next in Iraq." It's nice to have a pious 
          President, but when piety shuts down perception, it may not be altogether 
          a good thing.              Metaphors be with you. 
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